Sunday, February 3, 2008

home in the hood

Okay, so when I decided to work for myself three years ago, I accepted all the romantic notions of being a struggling entrepreneur. You know, the whole 'living check-to-check, working 7 days a week, eating ramen noodles as I feverishly finish what is sure to be the next NYT Bestselling novel, wing-and-prayer, success-by-any-means' mantra I give myself every time I see a fabulous pair of Loboutins or hear about a $2.1 million dollar dream brownstone in Harlem for sale.

Umm, but what I DIDN'T sign on for? The freaking home office drama!!! I mean don't get me wrong, I love my little home in the hood. I may not have a doorman, but hey, I got boys at the door for protection and Billy my friendly crackhead in the lobby to sign for my packages. I mean, who needs an ADT security system when my neighbor Gladys lives with her front door open minding EVERYBODY's business? As long as there's enough square footage for Drama to lay around and fart without me smelling it; I'm fine. Except for one tiny issue....

Why does my apartment ceiling leak AT LEAST once a month????? If it's not the bathroom, its the kitchen. if it's not the kitchen it's the living room... good f'ing grief. I KNOW the management company must tire of me calling up and cussing them out like hooker on the point. I KNOW the folks upstairs hate the sound of me incessently ringing their doorbell like I'm po-po making a bust at all hours of the night. It's freaking ridiculous. My poor super has carpel tunnel from constantly replastering/ painting my ceilings.

SO instead of getting ready to go to my girl's Super Bowl party, I'm sitting here listening to the pitter patter of the water hitting the bucket in the kitchen. And I'm really starting to consider calling that annoying realtor chick who insisted living in a newly renovated 350 sq. ft apartment next to a FIREHOUSE was a 'total bargain.'


  1. Hey Mitzi, Sorry about the leaks. On the upside, your new book cover is HOT TO DEATH! xoxo Stacey B.

  2. Don't worry things will go great, just think DR this time next week. If it rains you won't care. REMEMBER: Elsa and Angie love you and I do too.

  3. Oh poor Diva! Sory to hear about your leak but very excited to see your new project. Miss you lots here in Philly. Keep in touch!


  4. Hello Mitzi,

    This blog is great and cannot wait until the book comes out :-D

    We will write a review at

    Love Chelle :-D

    Referred By Melissa Miller

  5. well the good news is one day you will be sweetly ensconced in the wonderful 2million dollar bstone, colonial in Greenwich or even the tricked out victorian overlooking the hudson because you can MM write your ass off. The bad news homey is that the something will still leak, blow up, fall apart and there won't be no damn super — just you choosing between a new hot water heater and that new pair of CLs and billy will become a highly romanticized memory in which you might not even remember his crackiness.

  6. Mitzi, you are hilarious! I can totally relate to the home in the hood drama. Big dreams require big sacrifices!!


  7. hey girl its me Andria/Razz...damn your living the dream i sort of want lol but you have to admit those storage bins come in handy when things me i know!