Wednesday, March 31, 2010

go away...

So I just heard about the upcoming Vanity Fair feature story on the alledged mistresses of Tiger Woods....

CRICKETS


Yeah... Gotta be honest, not so sure this is a good look for VF. I'm just saying. It just feels way more than like an US Weekly exclusive than a full-length feature for such a great magazine. And not for nothing, I simply don't want to hear anything else from a these trashy low-budget hookers.

Like when are their 15 minutes EVER going to be up??

It's not like I'm suddenly going to feel badly for any of them. To the contrary, it only increases my disdain. For example, all of the women are chiming in on Tiger's cheapness. One says, "All he ever bought me was a Subway sandwich," another gripes that he flew her around in coach and the best is the one who he brought to his crib but never let her into the master bedroom.

BLANK STARE

Man, listen, every single one of ya'll are idiots. Every other week, Tiger Woods is included on a new and improved list of the wealthiest athletes on the PLANET. So if all you got outta that situation was sex in the garage and a sandwich, that's your freaking fault.

The End.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

hometraining is so key...

About a month ago, I read an article on Reuters about the significant rise of people in London preferring to use email and social networking web sites to break up with their partners. Mmm-hmmm...

Apparently, over 34 percent of the people polled admitted that they'd ended a relationship by email, 30% had simply changed their status on Facebook and wait on it... 6% of these e-thugs got extra gully and released the news unilaterally on Twitter. TWITTER???

DEAD

I am happy/ blessed to say that to date, I have NEVER had anyone end of relationship with me via email. Shoot, if you ask me over the phone is super shady let alone digitally. but I didn't want to assume that just because I haven't had the unpleasant experience, it wasn't happening to my friends and peeps. So I put up the poll question- Have you ever dumped o been dumped via text message?

And guess what?

83% said never.
2% ended the relationship that way.
13% received notice via text.

BLANK STARE

While I'm relieved for the 83%, I cant believe this bullish has happened to 13% of us. What is the world coming to when folks can't even sum up enough courage to look you in the eye and tell you the relationship is over? Yeah, I'm talking to the 2%. It's not that damn hard. Seriously, unless your life is in danger, it's the least. Even if you're pissed off, there's something very powerful about saying the words- This is Over... I don't want to be with You... This Isn't working for Me... Or my favoritest- So yeah, I'd rather not.

And yes, that includes the times I've been on the receiving end. Cause once I hear the words out of your mouth, there is instant clarity. Grand opening, grand closing.

What do you think?

Monday, March 29, 2010

f'ck the fine print...

It's official, insurance company executives are spawn of the devil. According to today's New York Times, lawyers for the insurance companies are now arguing that language in the new Health Care Bill is open to interpretation. And while the bill now requires them to pay the expenses generated from a child's pre-existing conditions if the child is already covered by their parent's policy, it DOES NOT require them sell new policies to children with pre-existing conditions.

BLANK STARE

So essentially, if they find out that your child has a pre-existing condition before they offer coverage, they can charge you a more expensive penalty fee or simply refuse to cover your child at all. And the 'availability' coverage that requires that everyone receive insurance doesn't go into effect until 2014.

DEAD

I. Can't. How the hell do these people sleep at night?

Friday, March 26, 2010

granny goes hard...



Oh wait, now this is some fun-ny 'ish!


PAUSE

After numerous unresolved calls to 311, apparently Maria hit the wall. She freaked out, called her husband at work, started screaming that she couldn't take the torturous noise anymore. Then as fate would have it, she just so 'happened' to run into said neighbor, Iraida Palmieri in the elevator shortly thereafter. According to Maria , Iraida was actin' funny and refused to move over and make space in the elevator car. So Maria told her to move or she was gonna shoot that ass. Iraida who is the wife of a famous Latin jazz pianist, wrongly called Maria's bluff and ended up with one to the head (well, really just upside the head since she only grazed her head). Just. Like. That.

BLANK STARE WITH 3 SLOOOOOW BLINKS

All I can say is the devil is a busy man.

And not for nothing, my upstairs neighbors are kinda nuts too. They're like an apartment full of 20-something years old corner boys who clearly think their spot in the hood is the new Playboy Mansion. At 3 am on any given day of the week, they'll host full on parties, practice dribbling a basketball and or simply play reggaeton until the walls shake.

Puh-lease believe me when I say, I hate Daddy Yankee.

So I understand where Granny was coming from but still.... this right here is nuts.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

if Madea shows up, I'm walking out...

Well lookey here, something else kinda controversial that happened while I was busy celebrating the Health Care Bill (that could potentially be no more thanks to the fabulous US Senate):

Tyler Perry finally announced the cast to the upcoming feature adaptation of Ntozake Shange's famous choreopoem "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf."

Or rather, I should say a partial list. Because although there are only seven nameless women in the original work that we've all come to know and love, Mr. Perry has stated that there will be FIFTEEN roles in the film.

*DEAD FISH EYES*


Anyhoo, here it is:
- Whoopi Goldberg, Phylicia Rahsad, Jurnee Smollett, Kimberly Elise, Kerry Washington, Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Macy Gray

*crickets*

Yeah... I was rocking with him right up until Janet. After that, no. Not so much. But hey, I love a surprise and believe in prayer. So you never know, maybe Macy will surprise us all....

*whips out rosary and gets to mumblin' my Hail Marys"

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

tardy to the party...

Uh-oh, it looks like married women are no longer turning a blind eye on this recent mistress/ sidechick uprising that's been popping off on a la ESPN's Steve Phillips, Tiger Woods & most recently, Jesse James.It seems a humiliated 60 year-old North Carolina woman sued her ex-husband's mistress for 9 MILLION dollars for willfully wrecking thee 33-year long marriage. Oh and guess what? She won.

Puh-lease don't ask me how I missed this in yesterday's NY Post... But thank God for Young, Black & Fabulous, huh?

So now forreal, forreal, what do you think? Should a wife/husband be able to sue the home wrecker that ends a marriage? Theoretically, she/he is NOT the person who signed the legally binding marital contract. Or more importantly, the individual who promised in front of God, family and friends to be faithful to the union? Hmm...

Whether we like it or not, 'ish happens. To play devil's advocate, there are many times when the other person isn't even aware of the marriage. And in those SPECIFIC cases, I'd prob say get you a top of the line divorce lawyer and call it a day.

BUT...

If it can be proven that some no-home-training- having individual was deliberate and malicious in their intent- have at it. Leave no stone unturned when searching for ways to make that person's life a living nightmare.

It is what it is.

Monday, March 22, 2010

raise your hand if you have a pre-existing condition...



For the most obvious reasons, I am beyond thrilled that the Health Care Bill was finally approved and passed through the House. I started to choke up when we finally received the necessary 216th vote to pass the bill. But honestly, it was the resounding 220, that defeated a last minute measure to trash the whole thing and stage a do-over, that made me break out in the cabbage patch. Cause at a certain point, enough is enough.

And while I can understand people being passionate about their positions, I have to admit, there were times when even I was shocked by the lies, nastiness and downright craziness that this issue brought out in people. Teabaggers openly calling Rep John Lewis a nigger, cowardly politicians screaming out "baby-killer" at Rep. Stubeck while he was speaking on the floor, Rep. Steve King pretending to bitch slap Nancy Pelosi and of course right wing pundits damn near predicting the beginning of the apocalypse because the bill passed, and the the list goes on.

Admittedly, the Health Care Bill is far from perfect. But I'll tell you what, it's for damn sure way better than what 32 million Americans had before 10:45p last night.

"Tonight's vote is not a victory for any one party... It's a victory for the American people. It's a victory for commonsense." -President Obama

PS. For those who didn't manage to read the bill, here's a cheat sheet on some of the changes:

IMMEDIATE FIXES: 2010

- SMALL BUSINESSES: Tax credits start flowing to businesses with fewer than 50 employees, covering 35% of premiums, to help them afford coverage. By 2014, that will rise to 50%.

- SENIORS: They get a $250 rebate to help fill the "doughnut hole" in Medicare drug coverage.

- YOUNG ADULTS: Health insurers are required to let young people stay on their parents' policy up to their 27th birthday.

- PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Insurers will be barred from denying coverage to kids with pre-existing conditions. Adults will have to wait until 2014 for the same protection. But high-risk pools will offer an option for affordable coverage until then.

- NO LIMITS ON COVERAGE: Insurers can't place lifetime caps on benefits any longer.

- PREVENTIVE CARE: New private plans will have to cover checkups and other preventive services with no co-pays. By 2018, all plans must comply.

2011

- HEALTH CARE COMPANIES KICK IN: Drugmakers pony up new fees, starting at $2.7 billion. Insurance and medical-device providers follow in 2013.

2013

- TAXES: Medicare payroll taxes increase - from a rate of 1.45% to 2.35% - for singles earning more than $200,000 a year and families above $250,000.

2014

- INDIVIDUAL MANDATE: Almost everyone will be required to get insurance or face a fine - $95 in 2014, $325 in 2015 and $695 in 2016 (with a maximum of $2,250 for a family). There is an exemption for low-income people.

- EMPLOYER MANDATE: Businesses with 50 or more employees must offer insurance or pay a $2,000-per-worker penalty.

- HEALTH CARE EXCHANGES: New state-based marketplaces will be open for business, giving individuals and small businesses a place to shop for affordable insurance .

- SUBSIDIES: To help pay for insurance, the feds will offer subsidies to families making as much as $88,000 a year. Out-of-pocket spending will be tied to a person's income and kept as low as $1,000.

2018

- TAX ON HIGH-COST HEALTH PLANS: A 40% excise tax will be slapped on high-cost "Cadillac" plans starting in 2018.

2020

- Benefits that began to close Medicare's "doughnut hole" for prescription drugs in 2010 will finally complete the job in 2020.

Friday, March 19, 2010

guess who gets to have moregasm...

Life is good, I tell ya.

Why? Cause it's finally Friday, it's definitely warm outside and thanks to random.org I've got a winner for the MOREGASM: Babeland's Guide To Mind-Blowing Sex contest!

So without further ado,

CONGRATS Ms. Travoya Collins!!

Fingers crossed, you and your lucky significant other will get a whole lot of use out of your prize in the months ahead!

*lights the candles and cues up Trey Songz*


To claim the prize, please forward your current mailing info to the following email address:
mitzimoments@gmail.com

Thursday, March 18, 2010

$95,000 ain't worth spit...



Jesus, it sucks to be Sandra Bullock today. Cause not for nothing, having your husband's affair with the trashy tattoo-covered stripper/ wanna-be hairdresser as the lead story of every major news outlet cannot feel good. Especially after that heartfelt shout out Sandra gave Jesse when robbed Gabourey for the Oscar. You remember... "I love you so much and you are really hot. I want you so much." Uh-huh, exactly.

But before you start to cry a river for Miss Congeniality, be sure to save a few for Anthony McCoy, the Tennessee man who was arrested for not paying his child support. During the booking process, homeboy had his gold fronts (mind you, these were the permanent kind that are attached by dental glue) RIPPED from his mouth by a pissy police officer because she didn't think they were appropriate for his mugshot. You did see where I wrote, right? RIPPED from his mouth. Pause. How crazy is that? According to his lawyer, in addition to the golds, LAYERS of enamel and small pieces of the gum line were pulled off during the ordeal as well.

* gags uncontrollably*

Now, I'm so not not a fan of men that refuse to pay child support but this 'ish is beyond barbaric. Who does stuff like this? In her defense, I guess the police officer thought he was lying about the fronts being removable but still...

Once the man's mouth filled with BLOOD and TISSUE, it's obvious she was wrong. But wait on it... instead of admitting an error she simply tossed him a garbage can to spit inside. And then all the correction officers at the jail where he was held (cause they didn't let him go) denied his repeated requests for medical attention for TEN freaking DAYS???

SILENCE (with mouth firmly shut)

Can you even imagine the kind of pain this man was in???? Good Lord. I get nervous if the dentist scrapes too hard during my bi-yearly cleaning. To suffer through something like that, I'd probably die. No. I take that back. I'd definitely die.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

wearing lucky green drawers...



Wow, remember House of Pain? Tommy Boy Records? Sorta kinda maybe? Can't front, for a minute there, the lead rapper Everlast was one sexy looking white dude. And then just like that... Oh well. Guess you can't fight the genetics forever.

*pours out a lil' Guiness Stout*

At least that one single, Jump Around managed to stand the test of time. Reminds me of the days when every song played on the radio wasn't about how much money an artist ALLEGEDLY has at his disposal to toss around at a strip club or worse, all the half naked (and prob disease infested) women willing to be down with the get down. Mmm-hmm...

And the video is still hilarious. Aside from it being beyond low budget; homeboy's repeated transition from menacing thug to your friendly background check certified postal delivery guy is genius. He's like what? Ain't no future in fronting. If this rap 'ish doesn't work out, I STILL got my day job!! Say something!

Oh and please peep the chick about to get checked around 1:43. Her reaction is CLASSIC.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

temper tantrum is imminent...

Today's post is short... because I'm hungry. And to make matters worse, I have NO idea what I want to eat.

* sad little nephew face*

Don't act like this has never happened to you. And no, its not because I waited too long to attempt to prepare breakfast. I woke up knowing I was hungry and even walked into the kitchen. The problem is, I'm bored with breakfast food. I don't want eggs, pancakes, toast, bagels, hot/cold cereal, smoothies, yogurt or fruit. But I'm what? Hungry.

So what am I missing? Is there some amazing breakfast food that I have yet to experience? Seriously, what gives? What are YOU eating in the mornings? 'Cause this large cup of coffee is not cutting it and my Mr. Rogers's approved beautiful-day-in-the-neighborhood disposition is rapidly disappear with every letter typed.

The End.

Monday, March 15, 2010

all up in my backyard...


Thirteen years ago I was diagnosed with auto-immune hepatitis As a result, my liver had completely stopped functioning. Basically, I was told that I needed a liver transplant IMMEDIATELY or I was going to die.

Clearly, I received the transplant.

But those eighteen months I spent waiting for an organ to become available were the hardest minutes, hours, days, and months of my life. And not just because I was unspeakably ill but also because while waiting, I watched fellow patients who had been waiting along with me, die. Yeah, I can't explain what that does for the moral... Not.

But the thing is, once I received the organ I was so busy living and catching up on the years I spent dealing with the liver that I started to forget the scariest details of the ordeal. Like damn near everything. To this day, it takes my mom, medical charts and closest friends to help me remember me of half the craziness that happened... The human mind is so amazing.

All that to say, when I saw the commercial for the premiere of the new season of MTV doc series True Life, True Life: I Need A Transplant, I totally flashed back. And trust, it was not fun. Then, to make matters worse, while doing my monthly blood tests at the hospital last week, my coordinator informed me that things have gotten even worse for liver patients in New York State.

Apparently, nowadays New York State patients experience some of the longest wait times for a liver in the country- 26.9 months. That's more than TWICE the national wait time. Honestly, I just don't know if I would be alive if I would've had to wait almost two and a half YEARS for my transplant. Unfortunately, this increased wait is happening because 10 not even organ donors and 2) organs aren't shared nationally, there's shared regionally. Which means that if an organ becomes available in say California, a patient in New York will never have access.... even if no one is California needs it or is a match.

So you're clear: Over 160 New Yorkers died on the waiting list this past year. Mind you, because of the existing regional system, nearly 1000 viable donor livers are discarded each year at centers with small waiting lists while patients in other regions remain on long wait lists and basically die.

SILENCE

While I'm happy to report that they've recently started lobbying for policy change (there's an important meeting in Atlanta on April 12th that I may attend); we all know how slow that road can be if the regular folks don't get involved. *serious side-eye*

So I'm asking everyone to take a minute out of their day, and contact their representative HERE

Since there's no form letter or petition, I wrote a little something for you to cut and paste:
I know someone who was able to receive the liver transplant necessary to save her life. Unfortunately, because of the existing regional access system and new language in recent guidelines from the government in the Transportation, Housing and Urban Development, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act, 2010, many others will not be as lucky.

As a voting constituent, I'm asking for you to help fight for changes to the system to include broader sharing.

Sincerely,


I promise, this will take 30 seconds and very likely save a life. So go on and be my hero today.

*drops mic and walks away*

Friday, March 12, 2010

everybody is not built to be a parent...



So for the record, I am LOVING the new Lady Gaga video featuring Beyonce. Well done! If I ever decide to swing the other way, please believe it will be with that white woman. Homegirl is on a whole other level and I for one am not mad at all.

Speaking of hot music videos... Did ya'll hear about the craziness with director of the Fugees's killing Me Softly video? To quote my boy Special P, YOOOO!


DEAD FISH EYES

Talking about he was trying to create a pure bloodline because the world was coming to an end and it was just going to be him and his offspring inheriting the earth.

SILENCE

But wait on it- Dude wasn't even attempting to be discreet about the crazy like those other pervs we've heard about recently. Nope, there were no children locked in a Brooklyn basement. This negro was brazenly running around calling his daughters his wives in PUBLIC. Like what, say something.

Matter of fact, he even told the woman that he was living with back in 2002, the whole story. This chick was a LAWYER at a top Manhattan firm. And she didn't say a single WORD.

"He was this successful artist who had worked with the Fugees," explains Subhana Rahim to The Daily News. "I was shocked when he told me that they were his daughters and that he'd been sleeping with them. I didn't try to understand something so ridiculous."

Okay... so at the time you refused to understand but eight years later you want to tell people about it? Really??

Can we all say, Educational FAIL.

I'll tell you what, if ANYONE I know ever starts talking about sleeping with his own offspring, boyfriend, baby father, husband or not, I'm going to the po-po IMMEDIATELY. As in not now, but RIGHT NOW while wearing nothing but my pajamas and head scarf. And I don't give a DAMN if you were just kidding.

I do NOT play those reindeer games.

My heart goes out to these kids. I pray that not only does this animal get thrown UNDER the jail for these crimes but that ALL the women who had knowledge and were complacent about the abuse, join him there as well.

*tosses holy water like I'm popping champagne*

Thursday, March 11, 2010

no respect for the short bus...

You know what? I am 30 secs away from climbing back up in my mother's womb and staging a do-over on my entire LIFE right now. No forreal. Because I just don't understand what kind of world we live in where wait on it... folks in Staten Island are breaking into elementary schools and stealing the PETS of AUTISTIC students!!! Are you serious right now?

I understand that times are rough. Hence, right, wrong or indifferent folks gotta do what they gotta do... So I can sorta kinda not really understand the thought process behind swiping the electronic equipment and toys. But snatching the HAMSTER? Come ON. That right there is like, kicking the cripple. Survey says: No can do.

To make matter worse, the no count heathens KNEW they were taking that damn rodent from kids with special needs. How could they not? The freaking name of the school is Eden II School for Children with Autism.

DEAD ASS SILENCE

Honestly, I don't even know what else to say about this...

*digs a rosary from the bottom of the keepsake chest and gets to praying*

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

r.i.p. corey haim...

In the spirit of full disclosure, I must confess that I am tired. For various reasons- none worth discussing or even remembering-I haven't gotten enough sleep over the past couple of days. So my ability to stomach the crazy is dangerously low.

Needless to say, when I read the Reuters headline: 'Seal Meat to Be on Menu at Canadian Parliament' something TOLD me to mind my business and not click the link... You know I clicked, right? Sigh.

The devil is a busy man.

It seems that Canada's Conservative government has decided to demonstrate their OPPOSITION to the European Union's ban on the imports of seal products and the annual seal hunt- which takes place from March to April and involves killing the helpless seals by shooting them or a hit over the head with a spiked club called a hakapik- by serving seal meat in the parliamentary restaurant today. The ban was imposed last July on the grounds that the hunt is inhumane. Uh, ya think?

*dead fish eyes*

Just so I'm clear- Canada is supposed to be this big 'ole country full of humanitarians and peaceful people, correct? YET they co-sign on murdering defenseless animals by knockin' them upside the head with a spiked club? And you not only co-sign, but you go so far as to put the meat on your lunch menu? Yeah, okay...

Sounds like the same shady grass that grows here in the US.

I'm so sure there's a warm seat in hell for folks that do stuff that this. By all means, please feel free to make yourself comfortable.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

it's a national hip hop holiday...



I'm sitting here listening DJ Mr. Cee spin all of BIG's greatest hits on Hot 97 and reminiscing on how amazing life was in the early 90s when Ready To Die first hit. The music felt so personal that no matter where you were listening-the club, your car or the crib; the air immediately began to feel almost electric. From the very first listen, I was addicted to this man's voice and flow. I swear, I must've played it on repeat nonstop at least 48 hours straight. Ask Elsa, 'ish was crazy.

In retrospect, I think his back story and music impacted so many of us so intensely b/c BIG's undeniable success made any and everything seem possible. If this akward fat kid with a lazy eye from Brooklyn could jump on a straight upstart label like Bad Boy and turn the world out, then shit... Why couldn't I party my ass of off, graduate at the top of my class, have the career of my dreams, make millions of dollars and pop bottles poolside w/ my boo for the remainder of my life?

I'm just saying.

Anyhoo, I am so thankful for the inspiration. You da best Big Poppa!

Monday, March 8, 2010

the new kanye...



On a whole, I didn't necessarily dislike the Oscars so much as I felt they were extremely predictable. We all knew Mo'Nique was going to receive a well deserved win and with all the backlash from his notoriously messy divorce and Svengali ways swirling, I also kinda understood it was time for James Cameron to take an L. And quite honestly, I didn't love most of the dresses... Um, Zoe's too big purple Can-Can dress? No thank you.

But one thing or rather person I was SO not prepared for was Elinor Burkett, the out-of-control, chubby Willy Wonka looking white woman who bumrushed the stage and pulled a straight Kanye on hapless director-producer, Roger Ross-Williams. No sir, that one COMPLETELY caught me off guard.

Just as the poor guy was about to start speaking, out of nowhere this busty red-head snatched the mic and began to talk over him. LOUDLY. And unlike Kanye, this bish didn't even give the mc back, Nope, she keep it going till the traveling music started to play.

*crickets*

It's being reported that Burkett was one of the original producers of the winner of the Best Doc Short Award, “Music by Prudence,” follows Prudence, a disabled woman in Zimbabwe with an incredible singing voice. And that Williams and she had some sort of fall out over the direction of the film and was removed. A year ago.

*Dead Fish Eyes*

All I'm saying is, all's fair is entertainment and humiliation. And if the entire world can hold a grudge against Kanye and stay crying a river for poor Taylor Swift, then there better be some tears shed for 'ole dude. READ: Either Rog is now entitled to have his own best year EVER with folks just GIVING him project money and film awards whether he actually has a anything work producing (just like they GAVE Taylor Swift's semi-talented ass all those Grammys) or I don't wanna see this chick at another Oscar ceremony for at least the next 5 years. The End.

PS. Peep how in the very beginning Mama Williams blocked Burkett from getting out of the aisle and following behind her son. HEE-Larious!

Friday, March 5, 2010

moregasm giveaway...

Yippie! They've finally released the highly-anticipated iPad pre-order and availability dates (March 12 and April 3rd respectively). So can't wait! In the meantime, thought I'd hook up one of my loyal readers with something else to keep your mind um, occupied...So the winner of the next Moment Giveaway will receive:

A copy of MOREGASM: Babeland's Guide To Mind-Blowing Sex.

This fun-filled book features fully illustrated and easy-to-read chapters on your body (guys and girls), the big O, masturbation techniques, toys, the art of hand jobs, positions, resources and countless ways to make your sex life more of a turn on for you and your partner.

Okay seriously, who doesn't want that???

And in the spirit full disclosure, I've really, really really enjoyed the review copy I received. *drops the mic and walks away with head held high & a very satisfied smile*

Here's how you can win:

MANDATORY:

• Leave me one comment telling me the single sexiest part of your body.

• Be/Become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (If you are already, this requirement doesn't apply to you. If not you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

FOR EXTRA ENTRIES (please leave separate comments for each):

• TWEET "I just entered the @MitziMoments MOREGASM giveaway for a free guide to mind-blowing sex. http://tinyurl.com/yana8fq"

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through Google follower OR add the Mitzi Moments to your RSS feed (leave additional and separate comments letting me know you’ve done so).

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter (leave me a comment letting me know you've done so).

• BLOG about this giveaway. (leave me a comment with the link to your post)

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you've done so).

THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on THURSDAY, MARCH 18, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON FRIDAY,MARCH 19, 2010. It is only open to residents in the continental U.S.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

now thats sex-sy...



Normally when I turn to the Style Network it's a lazy Saturday on the couch. As I lay around, flipping the channel, I'll sometimes wind-up watching one of their many kitchy reality shows like- How Do I Look?, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? or if I'm in the mood for a whole lot of bobblehead-type action, Giuliani & Bill. That's about it. But the other night, I happened to tune into their original series, Ruby. You know the one about 500+lb woman, Ruby Gettinger's ongoing struggle to lose weight? And all I can say is O-M-G.

This might be one of the best reality shows EVER. I don't know if it's her heavy Southern accent or her extra
girly/ prudish ways (which seem so hilarious on a this grown ass now 350lb woman) but I am in LOVE with Ruby.

When she talks about wearing dresses to hide her weight (um, who hasn't done that?) or being embarrassed to have her ex-boyfriend Denny who is like a personal trainer or some such nonsense see her wearing a bathing suit, I promise you my heart aches. And then, in the very next breath she's being hilarious and making fun of herself and having a better time than most folks I know... Sigh. It's fantastic.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

not really that funny...

Another day, another new tidbit about one of our fave celebs- so Mo'Nique and her husband (who I must admit is rather charming looking) have an open relationship, huh? Interesting.

And according to the NY Daily News, apparently I'm tardy to the party on this bit of Hollyweird info.

Honestly, it's not for me to judge. If you're cool with your husband sleeping with other women and he's cool with you having sex with other men, so be it. I don't have to crazwl into that bed with either of the two of you at the end of the night. Whatever keeps peace in the home. But is it just me or is something a little off/ sad when one spouse is so adamant about being faithful within the union as she/he shrugs' off the other's dalliances? Mmm-hmmm...

Check it out the quote that made me pause:
"Let me say this: I have not had sex outside my marriage with Sidney," the Academy Award nominee says in this year's 29th Barbara Walters Oscar special. "Could Sid have sex outside of his marriage with me? Yes. That's not a deal-breaker."
Really Mo?

*serious side-eye*

Sigh... It just seems like there was a better way to word that, no? Like maybe she could've said, 'I've been so busy with my new film projects and TV show that haven't had the time to have sex outside my marriage'... or SOMETHING. Anything that would've stopped it from seeming like while you have no interest in sleeping with other men besides your husband, he's allowed to do whatever in the hell he feels like (because you'd rather turn a blind eye than break-up). You feel me? Or am I just reading into this too much?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

is that a headlock or a hug...

Okay so I just saw this picture on Bossip. And not for nothing, I literally did a double take. WTF? 'Cause maybe it's just my shakey bakey memory, but didn't these two women each have a child within weeks of one another by the same yuck mouth rapper less than a year ago?

I guess I have more work to do on my personal growth index but I'm not so sure I could be all hugged up with the next chick this damn soon. Uh-uh, no ma'am. Granted, I'm not saying that I would need to go all Kim Porter with it and hate on all the baby mamas but this pic right here makes ME uncomfortable.

What say you?

Or are you too distracted by Nivea's extra smedium vest and whatever that fake fur, Snuggie-looking dress that Lauren is wearing to even think about it? It's okay, you can tell me.

Monday, March 1, 2010

snaps for the kid...

On a lighter and extremely exciting note-

My co-author Denene and I were selected to be included amongst The Brown Bookshelf's Twenty-Eight Days Later- A Black History Month Celebration of Children's Literature 2010 Spotlight Authors & Illustrators.

For those who are unfamiliar, The Brown Bookshelf is one of the premiere websites for finding Picture Books, Middle Grade and Young Adult Literature written, illustrated or that contain a majority of African-Americans characters. And the 28 Days Later initiative is an annual month-long showcase celebrating of their picks for the very best. READ: this is a big damn deal!

Feel free to check out Denene and I discussing the state of Black YA lit, our writing process and most importantly what we learned along the way HERE as I whop it out around my apartment to THIS.

you might wanna call your loved ones...

GANG STARR - TAKE IT PERSONAL from IrefutabilNews on Vimeo.

First there was the messy 2-day blizzard here in NYC, then a devastating earthquake in Chile, followed by a not-quite tsunami in Hawaii (how bizarre was it to almost witness a freaking natural disaster live on CNN?) and last but not least the recent Twitter reports that Guru from Gang Starr (one of my favorite hip hop groups of all time) suffered cardiac arrest last night and is now in a coma awaiting surgery. Dude was only 43 years old. Woah.

I feel like an elderly lady- my nerves are frazzled.

It's time to pray... Or drink. Or something. 'Cause this is a lot for one random weekend.