Monday, January 5, 2009

too grown for the walk of shame...

In general, I find Monday mornings can be difficult. But the first Monday after the end of the year holidays is absolutely the worst! It's like there's all this pressure to get your life started on the right track ASAP or you risk being a total failure for the rest of the year. It's crazy, right?

Luckily for my mazy butt, over the break, I was slacking on the posting game, so I have lots of old polls to discuss. Mmm-hmm, bet you thought I forgot about the whole "are you still down for a one night stand" question that I asked a trillion moons ago. Not so fast you sluts! LOLOL.
Actually the phrase sluts might be a bit of an exaggeration. Turns out that only 31% of you guys are still down for the one-time anonymous jump-off. Guess all that spontaneity went the way of that morning after STD tests for the remaining 69% huh?
But I have to say, I'm not surprised. I don't care how "safe" you think you're being if you're having intimate relations-at least if they're any good-there's gonna be some sort of body fluid contact. What if god forbid you're that random 1% that gets knocked up or worse... Remember the oozing sores and cauliflower penises from those awful health class STD films? So nasty.
I admit, it probably seems like I suffer from a bit paranoid but shoot, if a Black man can become President anything can happen. Elsa's daughter did not make it this many years to turn around and become the senseless Maury statistic... period.
And seriously, you know that no matter how much you might intend for it to remain a one-night stand- with all the advances in modern day technology can't nobody truly disappear nowadays. Knowing my crazy dating karma, I'd finally meet someone worth talking about and get caught out for screwing one of his homeboys two years ago on a girl's getaway weekend to Puerto Rico when he posts pictures of us up on Facebook?? Talking about, my homeboy from third grade said that he knows you... Uh-uh, no puedo.

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