Yesterday afternoon, a 50 year-old woman jumped to her death from the third floor of the Queens Center Mall atrium and wait on it... LANDED on a 17 year-old high school kid down below!!
Apparently Derrick Munoz and his girlfriend were reclining in some leather massage chairs when 'ole girl landed dead on his head and knocked him THE FUCK OUT. Mmm-hmmm... And you know Jesus got jokes when the sign on the back of the chair said, "Sit back and relax."
Not SIT BACK and RELAX!!!
OK, on the forreal, forreal, who does something like this? Who jumps over the banister in a crowded mall? And from the 3rd floor? Come on now ma, you weren't even going hard. I know you know somebody with a balcony on the top floor of one of those 30-story project housing buildings. If it's your last statement, why not make it count? Sigh, unbelievable.
Thankfully, poor Derrick finally regained consciousness in the ambulance en route to the hospital. And aside from a large gash on his head there were no other visible signs of injury.
Ding, ding, ding...