Wednesday, April 8, 2009

its good to be gay in VT...

Good lord its a slow news days... 

And since I have zero emotional energy to discuss the abducted 8 year-old girl whose body was just found stuffed in a freaking suitcase in a dairy farm pond,  I figured we'd dig in the crates and discuss the results to one of my older poll questions...

Okay, this was an interesting one: 
Do you think watching porn reduces or increases performance anxiety?

78% of you said that it reduces your stage fright while 21% insist it only made your nerves bad. Interesting.

Personally, I'm neutral on this one. I can leave or take the porn- it does absolutely nada for the kid. If anything, I think I find it so outrageously staged that it becomes laughable. Sure having a penis pounding in your ear and another simultaneously in your butt is a turn-on, sure it is. Insert image of my patented blank stare with exactly three blinks.

In spirit of full disclosure- Im pretty sure my mental 'block' on the virtues and pleasures of porn has everything to do with the trifling first experience I had back in the day. Let me tell you what had happened-

For whatever reason, the second dude I ever tried to have sex with could not for the life of him stay hard.  It was so tragic. Mind you, if his pants were on then we were all good.  But as soon as he started to get undressed and I could actually look AT the penis (and you know my STD paranoid behind insisted on looking), it'd shrivel right up. Uh-huh, you do the math.

Needless to say, by the third attempt to disrobe, I was 1-800-D-O-N-E. On some, "I don't know what's going on with YOU and THAT but as for me, I'm finished here" type ish. In response this fool, grabs me by the arm and is like, "wait, wait, don't get dressed! I know what it it is!  I just need to see some porn. Do you have any magazine or tapes?"  Um, EXCUSE YOU???

Shoot, it's bad enough I was all up in my mother's house acting too grown for the road and then you wanna ask somebody to play you a dirty movie?? Negro is you CRAZY???  Trust, that fool barely finished  getting dressed before I put that ass the hell out.  Kick rocks!

Sigh, and ever since then, I've givin' porn the real side-eye.  I'm not mad, if it's your thing. But on GP (general principle) I just can't get worked up about it.  Period.


  1. Well....I gotta say I don't mind porn if it's your thing, but it shouldn't take the place of the real thing. In other words, don't turn the tv on right when we're about to do the damn thing. That's weird.

  2. LMAO. Not the ear AND the booty!