Thursday, April 23, 2009

at least folks are pro-active...

How excited are we that the FDA is making the morning after pill available to 17 year-olds sans parental consent? Can we say, one less after school special? I know that Obama is busy saving the free world all day everyday but its the little stuff, like the overturning of this ridiculous rule that makes me heart the hell out of that man. Okay?

Speaking of birth control, a while ago-when I was debating switching up my method- I polled you guys about what was the preferred method of contraceptive. Just to see what everybody else was doing and if anything crucial had changed... Um yeah, not so much:
For 45%, the answer is still condoms. 30% said the pill. 12% are now using the Ring. And there's still that adventurous (if you want to call it that) 12% who are rolling the dice with the rhythm method.

I'm not ashamed to say, I was and still remain with the 45% condom users. I guess my nerves are just too bad. I need to see the peen all wrapped up before I feel completely comfortable getting my swerve on. And what with the resurgence of old school, Woodstock-esque STDs like gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis? Uh-uh, I'd rather not have to explain to Dr. Greene what had happened after all the lectures she's delivered about safe sex during my annual check-up.

I've thought long and hard about the pill. I mean with all the new options, who wouldn't like to have a period every 3 months or possibly not at all? But at 33, it just seems a little late to be jumping on this band wagon. I mean, I want to at least pretend like I'm going to get married and knocked up by the age of 36 (got to speak it into being, right?). Not to mention, who can really afford to gain the extra pounds, acne or facial hair? It's hard enough out here for a girl as it is without having to do battle with hairs on my chest or hanging from my chinny-chin chin.

Got to say, I've heard mixed reviews about the ring. On one hand I have a homegirl who SWEARS by it. and then I've heard that it can get moved around... Which in addition to being annoying, wouldn't abode well for me and the type of guys I prefer to have relations with (uh-huh, you do the math). Not to mention, like the pill there's that whole hormone thingy. Call me vain but I work damn hard for the basic results. Mama don't want no extra work, thank you very much.
Oh and as for the rhythm? Until there's a ring on it AND contracts signed, I won't know nothing about this one right here. Lord knows, my heart can't take it when the period is late and I know I don't have anything to worry about. Can you imagine? I'd be living in a perpetual state of fear. Running to the bathroom every five minutes like I was a80 year old woman with a bladder control issue. Hilarious.

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