OMG, I want a wife! The sun is shining, the forecast is in the 80s, the toes are done and my ass is inside cleaning a bathroom. Uh-uh, this don't make no kinda sense. And THEN, after I finish scrubbing the toilet and tub, I still gotta put away laundry and go grocery shopping. What in the in unsexy in the city hell??
I'm telling you right now, I wasn't born to live like this. Clearly the stork got confused and forgot to drop me off at Oprah's house. 'Cause no offense Els but you know the Big O is my forreal, forreal birth mother, right?
Fine, fine leave me to my delusional daydreams if you want. But please believe, when Oprah does show up and whisks me away to the big house to kick it with Barack and Michelle, ya'll non-believers ain't even getting a tweet outta me!
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