proper use of the word slut...

Well surprise, surprise, somehow my upstanding behind didn't get selected for the month-long criminal case involving wire taps, cocaine, ecstacy and 2 Puerto Rican from the Dykeman Projects in the Bronx. BLANK STARE

Gee, I wonder if it had something to do with the judge's question: do you know anyone that's been convicted of a crime?

Anyhoo, while I'm holed up here on 100 Centre Street waiting for my last day of service to end, it looks like the state of marriage continues to rapidly deteriorate. Not only did lameass Tiki Barber leave his pregnant wife of 11 years for an intern but it seems Garcelle Beauvais-Nillion's husband has also been outted for his five year affair. So how many celebrity husbands are in the shit house behind women probabaly not worth the gum on the bottom of my shoe: Steve Phillips, Tiger Woods, Shaq, Jesse James, Tiki Barber... Nice, very nice.

Keep it classy ya'll.

But not for nothing, there's been such a varied response to the cheating by all the wives. Don't ya think? Let's see, Steve Phillips wife sued him and homegirl, Elin chased Tiger's ass with a golf club, Shawnee snatched kids and went to LA, Sandra straight disappeared, Giny Barber immediately started crying to the press and good 'ole Garcelle... Well Ms. Thang sent a damn email to the ENTIRE talent agency where her husband works. Mmm-hmm, talking about:
"I found out today that MY husband of almost 9 yrs has been having an affair for 5 yrs with some slut in Chicago. I am devastated!!!! And I have been duped!! Our boys don't deserve this!"

JUST LIKE THAT.

I gotta say, it's been a bad run for unfaithful men over the past 7 months. And sure, I'd like to be optimistic about the situation. Cause you know, not everyone has to put his hand on the fire to figure out that it burns. But it's just... I mean honestly? Interns, waitresses, low budget internet porn stars, party promoters and your homeboy's fiancee? It's a lot. Le sigh.

Jesus be the secret bank account in your mama's maiden name.