all the money in the world...

Money can really bring out the worst in people... especially folks like Douglas Spink.

When times got bad for this former 90s venture capitalist and admitted adrenaline junkie he was like what the hell, I think I'll become a drug kingpin. And don't you know dude basically started transporting millions of dollars worth of coke and marijuana back and forth across the Canadian border.

CRICKETS

And when that 2nd career choice didn't exactly pan out (he was arrested back in 2005, then quickly snitched his way into a lenient 3 year sentence. So much for the code of silence, huh?), dude said fuckkit, guess I'll just start a bestiality farm.

DEAD FISH EYES

Uh-huh, you read that correctly.

Good 'ole Douglas was running a very lucrative Washington state based bestiality farm where visitors could have sex with all types of animals- horses, rats, dogs- in a tasteful and secluded environment.

Business was so crazy, when the investigators raided the hideout they seized THOUSANDS of images/ videos of folks having sex with the animals. 'But wait on it... one of the videos featured a man having sex with a dog. And don't you know that same man was at the farm the day of the raid? Wearing the same outfit that he had on in the flick????

I swear, I couldn't make it up if I wanted to.

Now here's my only question... Where the hell is PETA and all those crazy folks that were calling for Michael Vick's head NOW? How come they aren't rallying around the jailhouse in Washington demanding that this man be sent to the electric chair behind this craziness? Say what you want but I'm willing to bet that grown men weren't shoving mice up each other's asses ANYWHERE on Michael Vick's property.

The End.