Thursday, July 30, 2009

one call I won't accept...

When I first read about Rodell Vereen, the South Carolina man that was arrested for having sex with the same horse for the SECOND time (um yeah, you read that right. He actually did it once before but the cops weren't able to clearly identify him on the stable's surveillance tape until now), my initial response was to vomit in my mouth. I mean the mental image on that was just too much for my nerves this early in the day...

But then, and  feel free to call me crazy, I started to feel bad for homeboy... Mmm-hmm, yeah, I admit it. I actually felt bad for the greasy-looking sexual deviant.

Why? Well, it could be that I'm PMSing and my hormones are all outta wack.  Still, call it a hunch but something tells me that he probably isn't the brightest or wealthiest individual (otherwise, he'd have his own private stable of horse to bonk, no?).  So he's gonna have to reach out to some damn body to bail him out the clinker, right? And the only person you could conceivable call at a time like that would be the poor woman that gave birth to you.  And can you EVEN imagine how that conversation went??

"Um yeah, Mommma? Hi. So listen, what had happened was... these folks done caught me getting it in with the neighbor's filly. And now, well, I'm locked up. Mm-hmm, yes ma'am, as in having sex with the horse.  No, no,  nothing's wrong with your hearing. You heard me correctly. S-E-X. But I swear, I she wanted it too... (insert sound of  woman wailing and sudden dial tone) Hello? Hello?"

Sigh, poor thang. Let the prayer circle commence.

1 comment:

  1. EWAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Oh. God. How do I even BEGIN to write after that?!!!