filing a missing persons report...

When I woke up this morning I had two very different thoughts. First, was the realization that the headache/ migraine I've been suffering from for the past 48 hours is finally gone. Praise God! And secondly, I wondered where Paris Hilton was hiding out nowadays. I know, I know. *crickets*

Maybe it's because I was watching the season finale of Keeping Up With The Karshadians the other day when it occurred to me that in the last year or so, Kimmie and her entire little look alike tribe essentially snatched the life away from Paris et al. And you know what, I'm not even mad.

Say what want about her boring sex tape, blatant use of butt pads and that nasal, high-pitched voice (which irritates most of us b/c real talk, if anyone else whined HALF as much to our sig others, we wouldn't get shit but cussed out and told to shut da hell up) howsumeva, that white woman is a straight hustler. She may have no perceptible talent or even personality but she sure can work a camera. And with that singular ability, she has managed to get her and her ENTIRE FAMILY pizz-aid!!

Now that's what I call looking out for the home team.

Truth be told, I kinda wish she'd teach a class. You know something like, "How To Turn A Boring Sex Tape Into A Million Dollar Moment For Ev'ry-Damn-Body.' I'm just saying...