Another snowy day, another old poll question. What's worse, knowing your significant other's family doesn't like you or not getting along with his/her friends?
65% say family.
34% say friends
Real talk, both of these situations suck. Period. Cause who doesn't want to be liked? Not to mention, we all know that having the friends and family on your side is like a secret insurance policy during those times when your relationship is on the rocks (and you probably don't even know it). You always want somebody to be willing to say, "Dude she/ he is the best thing that ever happened to you..." or "If you mess this up, you're an idiot."
But since I have to choose, I'm gonna go with family.
'Cause the thing is, you can always limit your interaction with the friends. Nothing says that we all need to hang out or vacation together. Matter of fact, I've already got a ridiculous amount of friends that I barely get to see let alone, spending my time around yours. At a certain point, you can always pull the old 'what happens between us, stays between us' rule of relationship silence. And if your partner is genuine, that should limit the amount of shit talking they get to do about you to him/ her. At least until you can convince your beloved to move the hell away from the entire worthless bunch.
But the family? Uh-uh.
Them mo-fos are around for good. His nasty mama and slutty sister will forever be at your crib on holidays. All those dirty looks from his know-it-all father will just keep coming like shit in the sewer. Oh and trust, you'll never stop blocking the unwanted advances of his favorite alcoholic uncle. *crickets*
Oh and God forbid, the two of you get married and have kids?? YIKES. Who the hell wants all of that at your wedding? As expensive as weddings are? The last thing I want are folks that work my nerves hanging around making faces on our special day. I don't know about you but I'm not leaving MY child around ANYONE that doesn't like me. I don't give a DAMN whether you're a relative or not.
But now I'm curious. If you're more worried about the friends hating you, tell me why.
I would have initially said friends, but by God, you've convinced me that family would be even worse.
ReplyDeleteI'm w/you on the family tip. What if you and the fam are super tight but his boy from 3rd grade that he's super cool with hate yo guts?? That scenario can still make things sticky.
ReplyDeleteBoth are bad...and it both cases, the longevity of the relationship is doomed, sad to say. Longterm relationships, don't exist in a vacuum. They take the support of a community especially with children. Friends seem better but this is the thing..your partners friends are a reflection of who he is. Whatever it is that you don't like about them or they you is GUARANTEED to manifest as something you don't like about your partner sooner or later.
ReplyDeleteYou've made some good points. But there is always the possibility that he hates his family too. So even if they hate you, hey, at least you're in it together. And maybe they live far away so the holiday thing is a moot point. As for the wedding - you'd be surrounded by friends and your family (who I'm assuming are awesome to both of you) so you shove his family in a dark corner and forget about it. No one will spoil your day!
ReplyDeleteNow the friends... Well he actually *chose* them. He couldn't help which family he was born into. Most likely he wants to hang with his friends and if you can't be there too, that's bound to cause problems. They probably also live wherever you do, so you're confronted with the hate all the time. That would suck, imho.
So, I like your points about family and either group hating you is surely a bummer. But I'm going with friends on this one. - Gill