For those that haven't, this sentence from the article sums it up:if black women are going to defy the statistics, they need to start being more realistic. Holding out for the perfect man, someone who is intellectual but not nerdy—cool but not arrogant—impeccably dressed but not effeminate—not a player but with just the right amount of edge—is useless.
And you know what my response to that entire train of thought is? YOU SHUT UP.
Cause forreal, forreal, why are we so quick to assume that Michelle was being 'realistic' (read: settling) when she started dating Barack? Maybe the First Lady has a thing for skinny bi-racial guys with big ears that are into helping the community and wanna be President?? How do you know that Barack wasn't EXACTLY what she was holding out for? And so what if the car he was dead broke and driving a hoopie?You ain't never seen a sexy struggling artist/activist that could get it? Shoot, we've ALL seen the pics of him smoking ganja. Ain't nothing about that man look the least bit nerdy or effeminate- at all.
All I know is, I continue to work DAMN hard to pull myself into a marketable package. And I want to see the same in my partner.
I refuse to spend a moment (let alone the remainder) of my life with a man that makes me wish I was anywhere else under the sun but with him. And that's exactly how I (or anyone that's willing to be honest with themselves) will feel if we give up the search and start accepting whatever is in front of us...
If I don't like lame guys, I'm not dating them. If I don't like dudes who are excessively overweight, I'm not dating them. If I don't like men who spend more time grooming themselves and looking in the mirror than me, I'm just not dating them. PERIOD.
I refuse to walk through life in a pair of dark shades so that my significant other doesn't notice all the side-eye I'm throwing at him just for being him. And keep it one thousand, if you've ever been with someone that works your nerves for no good reason, you understand exactly what I'm talking about.
And on the flip side, I for damn sure don't want anyone settling for me. If I'm not the one- Keep It Moving Shorty. There are way too many options out there for you to be wasting my time, making me jump through hoops when you already know I won't ever measure up. No thanks, I'm good.
Oh and real talk, NONE of the women that I know in relationships/ marriages worth talking about EVER settled.