they're crying in trailer parks nationwide...

Lookey, lookey here- guess which unwed teenage mom just called off her farce of an engagement? Ding, ding, ding- you guessed it: worthless ass Bristol Palin aka Patron Saint of Poor White Teenage Trash.

As if anyone was surprised. From day one poor Levi Johnston has worn the blatant 'woah is me, I'm just an innocent teenage redneck. How in the moose hunting- Budweiser drinking hell did I mess around and knock up my jump-off' expression on his big, flat, playdough face. Walking from press opt to press opt like the only thing he wanted for Xmas was a paternity test... Damn shame. I'm just glad homeboy finally smartened up and bizz-ounced.


Of course, can't be mad at Bristol for trying to spin the breakup. Releasing the crazy statement about "unnamed people trying to take advantage of her family's fame" as the reason why things fell apart. Yeah, okay honey bunny. Why don't you go sit your special behind down and look at Russia?