Wednesday, August 5, 2009

i got your box seat in hell...

Dizz-amn, there's a lot of disturbing news poppin' off today...

First the NYT is reporting that on the other side of the world men in the Congo are being raped in record numbers as a result of the ongoing joint Congo-Rwandan conflict (read: more than 10% of the reported rape cases in June were guy on guy action).  Woah.  Clearly there's no limit to the brutality that people will commit against one another...  Perhaps, now that men are being raped and tortured (seems castrations are on the rise too) the international community will finally step in and get involved. SMH.

Then in Pittsburgh, that 48 year-old antisocial prick went into a local LA Sports Club and started shooting up folks 'cause awit on it... no one wanted to be his friend and he couldn't find girlfriend. As if I needed another reason not to go to the damn gym?? Now I got to be worried about the miserable creep who got his little feelings hurt seeking retribution? Dude... Go. Sit. Down.

And finally,  right here in our own backyard that Long Island mom who drove unto Taconic Highway the wrong way and killed EIGHT people was freaking drunk AND high??? Drunk like, authorities discovered an open  1.75 liter bottle of Absolut in the car and homegirl's blood alcohol level report reads as if she knocked back the equivalent of 10 shots of 80-proof liquor and smoked a blunt as recently as 15 minutes before the massacre... WTF??  

Not to question the powers that be in the Universe and shit but I gotta ask- so where the hell was the dickhead State Police officer that all too happily pulled me over a couple of weeks ago for speeding on the same Parkway? Huh, huh?  And don't you know that self-important fool was all up in my face talking about " Young lady you're lucky that a dear didn't jump out in front of your car. Or you might not be here to pay this ticket."  Insert prolonged blank stare with three very slow blinks. 

NEGRO PLEASE. First of all, I'm sober and on the right side of the road.  Secondly, speeding happens.  RE-LAX.  The only reason that I might halfway deserve to be called "lucky" is because some boozed-up, high-ass hell, trashy, red-neck wasn't on the road tossing back swigs of vodka on her way home from a weekend in the woods. 

It's too much.... I'm done.


  1. LMAO ..........V

  2. This is all just too much. I'm speechless.

  3. omg, first of all--yet another dumb day in the nws. secondly, you had me rolling on the floor laughing with this bit about the Po-Po.

  4. You didnt give him the long stare and slow blinks did you?