Friday, June 11, 2010

this aint a movie dawg...

Have I got a story for you...

So apparently my homegirl MB went out with some friend of hers that she hadn't seen in a minute on Wednesday night. Naturally, the night went long and the number of drinks prob added up. No judgement. At the end of the wonderful evening the two young ladies went their individual ways. Everyone got home safely.

Now, the next morning MB's homegirl wakes up a little hazy on whether she closed her car door BUT she distinctly recalls clicking the alarm. You know how the oddest details will stick in your mind the morning after a good time but you can't remember major stuff? Like you won't have the faintest idea what the name the person you were making out all night with but you'll remember they had on a really nice watch? Exaactly.

Much to MB's friend's relief her SUV is in the same place she left it the night before. Praise god for the little things, right?

Anyhoo, she gets in her car. And almost immediately, she notices a distinctly sour odor. Like any normal person, she starts looking around the passenger side floor to see if she spilled any food the night before. Nope. Nothing. So she's like okay well, maybe I just need some ventilation in here. She starts the car and opens all the window. Running a little late at this point, she makes mental note to hit the car was, gets herself together and begins to back the car out of the parking spot. Homegirl looks up in the rear view mirror...

*throws up in mouth while simultaneously dying of fright*

Mind you, this negro wasn't sorta sleep. His ass had figured out how to lay the 2nd row of seats down so he could be SPRAWLED the hell out across the back of her car!!!

Can you f'kin' imagine?? Honestly, I would've pissed in my pants if that 'ish happened to me. And worse you done closed the door and locked yourself in with the seat belt?? OH HELLS NO!!!

I'm happy to report that MB's girl is much more courageous than I. 'Cause instead of pissing on herself or even calling the police, she was focused. She simply jumped out the car and started screaming at dude to get the hell out of her whip. Which he did... slowly. Talking about, 'My bad. The door was open and I was tired.'

Um, I'm sorry. Did he just say, he was tired?


See, this the kinda bullshit urban legends are made of. And like I told, MB- I'm just glad that dude was a hard sleeper. Cause can you imagine if he woke up before she looked up in the rear view mirror??? SMH.


  1. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T!!!!!!!!!!! *FAINTS*

  2. That is kind of amazing and awful. Eeuuww, stinky!

  3. OMG!!!!! This same thing happened to my mom years ago! The guy said "I thought this was my car." Hell, if it's your car, why you layin' down on the floor of the car???

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