Wednesday, December 22, 2010

why is she a 26 year-old senior...

In this week's swept-under-the-rug news, this past Sunday the Ithaca Police Department snatched up 26 year-old Cornell senior, Keri Lynn Blakinger in some local hotel parking lot holding nearly SIX ounces of UNCUT heroin!!


Um,what in the over-educated, no commonsense having, delusions of grandeur hell?

Will someone please explain to me why these privileged college students are behaving like they're corner boys from the 80s? I know the economy is in a recession but times ain't NEVER that goddamn tough if you're enrolled in freaking IVY LEAGUE University! Sheeeit.

But not for nothing, what's really, really, really making my nerves bad is homegirl from Cornell's mugshot. Yo. Why does her skin look like a damn biology class experiment gone all the way WRONG??

This chick has mad sores and open blisters all over her face. Uuggh. Makes me wanna grab a Sharpie and play connect the dots on her pockmarked face. And then her hair... JE-SUS.

*makes the sign of the cross*

No exaggeration, there's so much grease I can smell it from here. I know it's finals week but dammit, she couldn't have taken a quick shower before she went to make that drop? No? Too much?

*gags violently*

Ya'll brats better stop playing the reindeer games, turn off that damn Rick Ross and get your asses back to that study group. Dammit.


  1. Looks like she gets high off her own supply...

  2. I love the way you encourage students to stay in school, but unfortunately this lady needs more than an Ivy League Degree. Those pock marks, not to mention the heroin, is a clear sign that she is in very deep trouble. Her appearance is akin to a meth head, which is a monster of a drug. She may have been selling heroine to fuel her meth addiction or she may have been using both to counteract the effects of each (Meth = Super Woman and Heroine = Super Chill almost comatose). Playing SeeSaw is not good for the hair, complexion, education, or legal record.