laughing all the way to lockdown...

Wow. I just read the story about 18 year-old Tyler Clementi who apparently committed suicide after his punk ass roommate, Dharun Ravi and Ravi's homegirl, Molly Wei used a hidden webcam to stream the Rutger University freshman's make-out with another dude live on the Internet. And added bonus: announced the intention to do so on his Twitter feed.

DEAD FISH EYES

Seriously? This story completely breaks my heart. How nasty and mean of an individual can you be to videotape your own roommate and then put it up on the freaking internet? As a female, knowing how often it's done to women, why would you ever co-sign on sexually exploiting anyone like that? Why is the idea of two men making out even funny? It's just sex. Big damn deal. SMH.

So now, this promising kid, who was apparently a very talented violinist, just jumped off the George Washington Bridge and both your dumb asses are looking at least five years in jail.

Still funny now?

Uugh. No one deserves such an undignified outing of their sexual orientation.Ever. My heart goes out to his family.

look at eddie's white play cousin...

Initially, I thought today's post was going to be about Eddie Long's 3rd accuser giving his first televised interview. Mm-hmm... *starts to hum & sway*

But then, I saw this story about Andrew Shirvell. And oh.my. GOD.

For six months, this grown ass white man in Ann Arbor, Michigan has basically waged a HATE campaign against the University of Michigan Student Body Assembly President Chris Armstrong (emphasis on student) because he's gay.

BLANK STARE.

And when I say campaign, in addition to physically protesting outside of this poor COLLEGE STUDENT's apartment, Shirvell created a website dedicated to "exposing" this child as, 'a radical homosexual, racist, elitist, & liar.' Talking about, "Armstrong has gone back on a campaign promise he made to minority students; engaging in "flagrant sexual promiscuity" with another male member of the student government; sexually seducing and influencing "a previously conservative [male] student" so much so that the student, according to Shirvell, "morphed into a proponent of the radical homosexual agenda"; hosting a gay orgy in his dorm room in October 2009; and trying to recruit incoming first-year students "to join the homosexual 'lifestyle."'

But wait on it, in addition to his frequent vitriol filled updates he also posted pictures of Armstrong with obscenities written over them a la Perez Hilton and wait on it- swastika superimposed over a gay pride flag, with an arrow pointing toward Armstrong.

Um, where they do that at??

Mind you, this lunatic is an Assistant Attorney General for the State of Michigan. So it's not like he just graduated from college last semester and that's why he still feels vested in the on campus politics. No. He BEEN out of college! He's grown as hell picking a fight with a damn CHILD.

And then, the video? With him looking and sounding like a whiny, hatin' ass, repressed homosexual???

No sir. I. Will. Not.

*immediately cues Willow Smith*

look at what willow started...

And so it begins... the attack of the adolescent R&B singers. SMDH. Can please tell what in the auto-tune hell do these little boys know about girls loving them down? Perhaps it's just me but, why are they even on cellphones enough to be singing about this nonsense? Shouldn't their little skinny behinds be in a classroom LEARNING some 'ish or something?

BLANK STARE

Here's the thing, I'm not mad at little kids wanting to be performers and singing their little hearts out- if it's Disney appropriate. Why? Cause that's the appropriate demo. But when you've got CHILDREN running around wearing deep cut v-neck t-shirts, pretending to be grown before they even hit the double digits, it's a totally different story.

Were are they going to go from here? Songs about seduction? Um, no thank you. We've already got a rising pre-teen pregnancy problem in our communities. I'mma need their management to pull out the Jonas Brothers blueprint and get on that. Leave the gyrating in florescent lit hallways to Trey Songz, et al. Forreal.

Oh, and if somebody don't explain the length of Ray-Ray's damn hair... *grabs scissors*

happy to hear about the sushi & coffee....

Hmm, this is a new one...

While I've certainly heard that enjoying a glass of wine ONE day a week during a pregnancy is very safe and in fact, may even be beneficial. But this chick, Beth is tossing back a glass, FOUR OR FIVE days a week.

BLANK STARE

But considering, I don't normally toss back that many glasses and I haven't been pregnant a day in my life, doesn't that seem a tad shakey bakey?

All I can say is, sure hope their health insurance carriers aren't watching. Because new health laws in effect or not, it might be hard to convince folks to cover the long term care necessary for a baby born with defects after seeing this right here.

burning my eyes...

So yeah, not sure about you but personally I'm not really trying to go see The Social Network in theaters. Not saying it's not interesting enough to add it to the queue when it hits Netflix but as for shelling out my hard earned $12.50 to see a movie that's just prob to make me feel like I haven't done 'ish with my entire life- err-um, no thank you.

Howsomever, I do think that it's pretty fantastic that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg is donating $100 million dollars to the Newark public school system. Yep, pretty fantastic and right on time. Cause I for damn sure needed something EXTRA SPECTACULAR to help my mind recover from the leaked cellphone pics of Eddie Long posing in his bathroom like Demi Moore wearing head-to-toe shiny black spandex and a Kangol.

BLANK STARE.

The Lord be coming through all day every day, I tell ya.

let the bonfire begin...

They say, a single look is worth more than a thousand words.

Mm-hmm... So, I'm thinking Sasha's Obama's laser beam side-eye at the paparazzi as the First Family walked back to the White House from church after this past Sunday morning service pretty much sums up how I'm feeling about greasy ass Pastor Eddie Long.

Cause here's the thing: How are you going to be "one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement" and then get caught up in some ish like coercing young male Church members to masturbate you??

HUH, Eddie??

For those who are unfamiliar, Eddie Long is the same ignorant fool who actively campaigned (and essentially convinced THOUSANDS of the poor Southern people that are members of his megachurch to vote) for George W. Bush's re-election in 2004. Why he do that, you ask? Because according to this psychopath, John Kerry's willingness to even CONSIDER giving gays the right to get married was more detrimental to the future of our country than the PROVEN facts that George Bush blatantly lied about the war, was robbing citizens of basic rights and sending our economy into the shitter.

I can't.

But back to those old adages... Where there's smoke, there's fire. And I for one cannot WAIT to see this hateful S.O.B burn.

feel like i'm on eastern parkway...

OMG. I. Can't. Breathe. This little Jamaican girl is going IN on her annoying younger aunty.

All I can say is, God bless Youtube and the genius who typed up the subtitles for giving me LIFE on this long ass day. Amen.

*pours out a little Guinness stout*

beautiful on the inside & out...

On an upnote, shout out to my fabulous homegirl Jakissa, a.k.a. DJ Kiss.

The talented and more importantly kind-hearted New Orleans beauty who I've had the pleasure of being friends with she arrived to New York so many years ago (and happens to rock some of the hottest celeb parties around the freaking world) was included amongst Iman and Alexis Biedel in US Weekly's 2010 List of the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers!

YAAAAAY! Werk it mama!

the face of self-hate...

Lord... PUH-lease give me the strength.

So Bethany Storro, the woman in Vancouver, Washington who's heart-wrenching story about having battery acid splashed on her own face by some random, crazed black woman was all over the national news this past week, finally admitted to throwing the disfiguring liquid on her own damn self.

BLANK STARE

Now folks talking about, "It's so sad. No one understands why she did it."

Um, how about this? I don't CARE why she did it. At. All. That's between her, the parents that didn't love her enough and the therapist that clearly forgot to call in her prescription.

What I care about is how quickly she reached for the unidentified Black assailant card. Like really? Cause there's that many Black women running around cold ass Washington state for her to choose that ethnicity for her attacker's description? Bish, you're exhausting. Eff you and the racist horse you rode in on.

I'm so thankful the police didn't simply accept her story at face value and start rounding up Black women like it was the wild, wild West. Forreal.

And real talk, if the authorities don't press charges for obstruction of justice, I for damn sure hope they throw her deranged, low self-esteem having ass in padded room until the end of days. Cause the world is crazy enough. We don't need not another loony tune to be out and about with the rest of us.

put down the doughnuts...

Oh the NYPD meter maids... SMH.

It just so tragic how seriously this mean-spirited division of the police department takes itself. Like, it's not our fault you couldn't even qualify to fight REAL crime. Tell you what, instead of taking it out on every tom, dick and harry who's car is even remotely parked near a dead fire hydrant, why don't you go workout and study a little something? So maybe one day, you can catch a real criminal. No, too much like right? I figured.

*rolls eyes*

So check this out: according to the NY Post a NYPD traffic cop was so busy ticketing a car parked on the wrong side during alternate side of the street cleaning, that the dummy chick didn't even notice the driver was sitting in the car- DEAD. Oh and wait on it, it's not like the corpse was leaned back against the seat where he could've been mistaken for sleeping. Nope. Homeboy overdosed and died with his body straight slumped over the steering wheel. Can you imagine?

BLANK STARE

Bish, I know all you do for 8 hours is ride around in a little go-cart and bring misery to drivers. But forreal, forreal aren't you a trained POLICE OFFICER? How you leave a ticket on the windshield and don't even bother to make sure the car is unattended? Shouldn't you of all people be AWARE of your surroundings at all times? How you busy telling me, if you see something say something but your oblivious ass ain't notice a damn CORPSE??

And all fun and games aside, what if dude had been a victim of a violent crime and the perpetrator was still in the area looking for the next victim?? But no. Miss Thang was so busy trying to get back to that ice latte she probably left in the car, she completely missed the actual opportunity to PROTECT & SERVE our community.

Waste of my damn taxes dollars.

go back like subway tokens...

Wow, remember when Jennifer Lopez was truly relevant? *crickets* Yeah don't feel bad, took me a minute to think that far back too.

In retrospect, for a typical looking, auto-tune dependent, round-the way Latina from the ungentrified side of the Bronx, who knows she owes her life to the untimely death of Selena, J.Lo sure did have a good little run there. *shrug* I'm just saying.

Anyhoo, it seems J.Lo is back trying to be relevant- again. In addition to signing with Def Jam, it was just announced that she will be the new celebrity judge on American Idol (how ironic is that??), and she's got a new album in the pipe. The first single, featuring the Dream and Rick Ross is entitled, Run The World.

BLANK STARE

All I'm going to say is that if I never, ever, ever hear Jenny sing another "Bonnie-n-Clyde, I -Gotcha-Back-Boo, Ride-or-Die Chick" Anthem again it will be too soon. Especially since we ALL know she's the FIRST one to bounce on a negro when po-po comes knocking. Mmm-hmm, just ask Puff.

*cough*disloyal bish *cough*

But enough of what I think, feel free to strain your ears/ check it out HERE.

so not hannah montana certified...

I had such a good weekend! I swear, it was full of so many firsts....

Attended my first Fashion Night Out (copped the crazy hot pink lipstick that will be making appearances all fall/winter long). I finally visited to Six Flags/ Great Adventures where I rode on an adult roller coaster for the first time (so damn scary, I will NEVER do that again). Oh and thanks to last night's extra uninteresting VMA show, I actually heard my first Justin Bieber (eh, reminds me of a less talented Justin Timberlake without as much flexibility).

Nope, I can't complain at all.

Speaking of underage performers with way too much hype, I'm curious to know what you guys think about Willow Smith's new first single, Whip My Hair.

While I'm the first to admit that the song has a great beat/ contagious lyrics, doesn't it concern you at all that a freaking 9 year-old is the one singing these lyrics? Like forreal, homegirl isn't even ten and she's already talking about having "haters"? I mean not to be funny but ain't Willow and her brother home schooled? Who hating on her? Listen... *sucks the back of my teeth HARD* That child doesn't even have friends, let alone haters. So, what's next? A song about her falling in love? At NINE??? I can't with that image.

Oh and if nothing else, lemme ask you this: While all that sass is really adorable on a music record, is it gonna be as cute when your little niece, nephew and godkids start whippin' their hair at you?

BLANK STARE.

Right. Didn't think so.

I'mma need Jada to try and find some age appropriate subject matter for her daughter PRONTO. Cause right now, lil Willow is steady reminding me of those nosey little kids that are always busy eavesdropping on their parents conversations when they should be playing with friends. And then, repeating back the gossip like they're an authority. Uh-uh, too grown.

Love the Smiths as a Hollywood powerhouse but this right here is truly bordering on a parental fail.

i'm buying a copy just because...

It's Friday, it's Fashion Week and tonight is Fashion Night Out. SOOOO excited.

I didn't partake in the tomfoolery last year because I was on some godforsaken deadline or the other. Not that much has changed but this year, I'm hitting the streets regardless. I wanna party and socialize fabulously while the wealthy spend money, dammit!

Speaking of fashion, about that October 2010 Gabourey Sidibe Elle cover.... PAUSE.

While I'm thrilled for Gabourey personally, you know what... Them mean ass Elle editors KNOW that they're DEAD ASS wrong for that bargain basement lace front and polyester green grandma dress tragedy. Especially when you compare her cover to the three other covers that they're releasing simultaneously.

Like forreal? Why is Gabby wearing a cheesy dress from David Bridal's mother-in-law section and dime store costume jewelry when them other hoes Amanda Seyfried and Lauren Conrad are half-naked in casual clothing???? With all the access a fashion mag like Elle has, they couldn't find a flattering wrap dress or even ONE pair of skinny jeans and a cute top ANYWHERE in the world for this young woman??

And what School of the Visual Arts dropout photographer thought it was a good idea to zoom in all the way on the plus-size actress's double chin and left boob but then give starving ass, admitted anorexic, Meagan Fox a full body shot?

*sucks the back of my teeth* Cut the crap.

No, Gabby may not be your conventional size 0 Hollywood beauty but she's still a pretty girl. Had that obviously, culturally ignorant Elle Fashion Director hired the proper hair, make-up and styling team AND even more importantly given the ridiculous photographer intelligent direction; Gabby could have been wonderful.

Outward appearance aside, on a more serious level you wanna know why this cover really, really irks me?

Because behind the scenes, when Gabby's cover doesn't sell half as much compared to the other three covers, the powers-that-be who really make the final decisions based on numbers will say, "You see. Black women on covers don't sell issues. Plus-size or skinny ('cause they do lump them all together), it's simply a bad business decision to put a woman of color on our covers."

And it'll be another umpteenth million issues before readers will see another brown-skin, non-mixed, 110% Black woman on the cover of a major mainstream magazine. The End.

Lame.

come and get dlux...

On a much lighter note... Thanks to the wonder that is random.org, I'm pleased to announce the three lucky winners of a yummy signature DLUX t-shirt! Drumroll please...

And the lovely ladies are:

ANGELA K.

CARYN REED-HENDON

SAMMENE@aol.com

WOO HOO!!!! Congrats on your new t-shirt ladies!

To claim your prize, please send an email with all of your mailing info to: mitzimoments@gmail.com.

its not politics, it's personal...

Okay. This rogue Floridian pastor threatening to burn at least 200 books of the Quran is making me sad, scared & physically ill. Seriously.

Since the story broke weeks ago, I've been trying to pretend like this is one of those low-budget jokes that I'll never understand. But then I saw today's post on Reuters. And it hit me. The entire WORLD is watching & waiting to see what this lunatic is going to do on September 11th. In the name of God and freedom of speech.

And I can't.

See, it's not that I have a problem with his version of God or the idea of the freedom of speech. Shoot, I'm 110% for the protection of freedom of SPEECH. SAY what you want all the live long day.

Howsomever, when it comes to BURNING the holy books of ANY religious faith? Nope. I will not get behind that EVER. Not the Quran, not the Bible, not a Torah, NOTHING. Everyone's faith deserves EQUAL respect. Period.

And on the most basic, selfish level- I, Mitzi Miller do not want to live through another terrorist attack. Especially one that is preventable.

I'm willing to bet $100, neither Pastor Jones nor his foolish followers were here or anywhere near NY when the towers fell. So of course it's easy for him to shrug his shoulders and keep it moving when anyone with commonsense can tell you that such behavior will put all Americans at grave risk.

But I was.

And the thought of him blatantly PROVOKING the jihadists that were responsible for that nightmare, is simply incomprehensible. Um hello, these are the same take-it-the-limit extremists that have publicly hired bounty killers to murder folks for drawing cartoons of Muhammad! So yeah, what do you think is gonna happen when that racist lights the match??

BLANK STARE

Now, I understand that there's really nothing legally that anyone can do to stop this situation. But believe this: Your freedom ends where mine behinds.

So if it goes down, and he does destroy those blessed texts, I PRAY that the press publicizes a LIST of every single, solitary, f'cking FOOL that has sent that mad man monetary donations or an actual Quran. Because I'mma need the suicide bombers and assassins to go kill THEM.

Not me.

whats a bite between friends...

Lord have mercy, ya'll voyeuristic animal lovers are gonna learn to leave these wild animals alone I tell you.

First the tiger in the little Miami wildlife park and now, the lion at the MGM resort in Vegas done attacked and bit one of its trainers in the leg. And again, the whole thing is caught on camera by nosey onlookers

Experts talking about the trainer seemed to stiffen up when the lion looked at him. And in the wild, that's a sign of aggression. So like a teenager, was simply trying to show his dominance.

BLANK STARE.

Um, I assume that this man is a trained profession, correct? (Hence why he was getting in the glass container with these cats to begin with.) So why wouldn't he know not to "stiffen up" if that's all it was? Uh-uh, sorry bruh. I don't believe you. I think this lion-just like that tiger that jumped the 14-foot fence- was just tired of the shenanigans. The End.

Although quite honestly, my favorite part is the lioness jumping on the back of the lion like, "CHILL negro! You know how fickle these damn humans are. One minute you're their main attraction and the next, they're euthanizing that ass!!"'

ROFL ROFL Yes, I'm an idiot....

But so are the folks that think it's cute to keep a grown lion and lioness in a oversized fishbowl for tourists to ogle. So there.

who you with...

See, here's the thing about the whole "for better or for worse," aspect of the wedding vow. Folks are quick to say it cause it sounds good, but have they really considered what it MEANS??

And I'm not hating on marriage. I'm just raise the point, that one never knows what's going to happen around the next corner. And take it from me, when shit hits the fan, everybody ain't built to stand the rain. As hurtfuls as it might be in at that moment, I'd much rather my partner 'fess up that he doesn't what it takes to be with me.As opposed to him faking the funk, sticking around, being resentful and make my situation even crazier.

*shrug*

Think I'm tripping? Well allow me to introduce EXHIBIT A:

Darrell White of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Yo. Why did this mean ass, 65 year-old man allow his poor bedridden wife to be eaten TO DEATH by maggots??

*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

Apparently, his 46 year-old wife Jorene suffered from a crippling case of arthritis. And ultimately, found herself completely confined to the bed. And somewhere along the line, the role of primary caretaker must've become too much and this psychopath just stopped taking care of her.

Now mind you, when I saw stop taking care of her; homegirl didn't starve to death. Nope. (Although quietly, that might have been 100 times more humane than being slowly eaten alive). Dude simply quit taking her to the doctor, turning her over, moving her legs/arms or even worse cleaning up her poo. PAUSE. So needless to say, when the authorities came to recover her corpse, she was COVERED with flies, maggots and bed sores.

*insert extended horror movie scream*

So you tell me: what part of the happily-ever-after game is this madness??

DEAD FISH EYES

Exaaaactly.

That poor woman would've had a better chance in poorly funded, state-run facility with unlicensed health care practitioners than with the very man that swore to love and protect her till the end of days. SMH.

Just wrong.

at least antoine is getting paid...

Well lookey here- The 'Bed Intruder Song' (the tomfoolery based on Antoine Dobson's hood ass interview after his sister was attacked in her bedroom that was cobbled together by a quartet of white musicians from Brooklyn) just hit the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Mind you, the track has sold more than 91,000 copies on iTunes and was at no. 39 on the iTunes chart last week.

Yo. Not to be funny but did Usher's new single featuring Jay-Z even sell that much?

And wait on it... When asked by the NYT the reason for the viral video's crossover success, one of the creators explained, “The bar is getting lower for creative artists to break into the mainstream.”

Mmm-hmm, just. like. that.

*makes the sign of the cross and pours out a lil' licca for the careers of Ciara, Maya, Ameriee, Mario, Lloyd, & all the rest of the 1-name wonder wannbes.*

thank me when the temp drops...

Ladies, really quick- think about your very favorite t-shirt.

You know the one that's super soft, got the sexy v-neck that's deep enough to be interesting and still cover your bra, looks lightweight but always keeps you warm and most importantly, clings in all the right places yet doesn't make your boobs look like victims of some type of torturous bondage?

Mmm-hmm, that one.

Well thanks to the fab DLux boutique- three of readers will be gifted another one FOR FREE.

(BONUS: its in that fabulous shade of dark grey that you can never find when you're looking)

Here's what you've got to do:

*MANDATORY*

• Leave me one comment telling me which is your favorite item on the DLux website and where you'd rock it.

• If you're not already, become a Mitzi Moments subscriber (you MUST verify your email subscription to qualify).

And for even MORE opportunities:

*EXTRA ENTRIES* (please be sure to post a separate comment for each one you complete)

• TWEET " I just entered the @MitziMoments 'Doing DLuxe' giveaway for a free signature DLux t-shirt. http://tinyurl.com/37u62pd "

• BECOME a Mitzi Moments Member through the Google follower link on site.

• FOLLOW @mitzimoments on Twitter & send me a message letting me know you've done so.

• FOLLOW @DluxNj on Twitter & send me a message letting me know you've done so.

• VISIT the flagship store & tell Dorian you heard about it on MitziMoments

• JOIN the official Mitzi Miller Author/ Journalist/ Opinionated Personality Facebook Fan Page HERE (leave a comment on the FB page letting me know you've done so).

THIS CONTEST ENDS AT 11:59 P.M. on WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2010. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED ON WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2010. It is open to residents in the continental U.S. and Canada.

it's the little things...

Praise God!

Just when it seemed like we were living in a world full of psychopaths who

toss newborn puppies into a river for kicks and deranged sickos who drive heated nails and metal particles in to the legs and head of their own maid because she complained about being overworked, Cee-Lo saves the day by releasing the official video to his single, F*ck You! And, it is absolutely perfect.

*happy sigh*

Enjoy!