Wednesday, July 21, 2010

gotta look good for the cameras...

In case I never have the opportunity to tell you again, cuteness kills.

Exhibit A: my screwed up right knee.

See what had happened was ... Instead of scaling back on the daily run when my knee started to ache and swell weeks ago, I stupidly decided to keep going. Why you ask? Um, cause my hardheaded self decided that just once I wanted to hit my exact weight loss goal. Now my dumbass is limping around the crib until I get the results from this MRI test I've scheduled for next week. (And no, I still ain't hit anywhere near the target weight.)

So because of said screwed up knee I am now only able to use the recumbent bike. (You know the one where all the old ladies sit down, ride and gossip?) DEAD FISH EYES. Mmm-hmm... Oh wait, you hear that? MWAH. That's the sound of me kissing my weight loss goal good-bye. Sigh. I know, I know.

But at least while I'm stuck on the bikes with all the little fat ladies, I have an excuse to indulge in one of my fave guilty pleasures- Maury. PAUSE. Don't judge me. Ya'll know I live for the drama and craziness that is trash talk TV (Besides, nothing says pedal faster than the fat asses that appear on that show).

And don't act like you're not just AMAZED at the ignorance these people are so willing to display for the cost of a paternity test. My fave from this morning? "That baby has blue eyes. I'm Puerto Rican. We don't have blue eyes." Um sir, the child's mother is an Irish red head.

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Yo, where do these people come from? How do they still exist in 2010?

Honestly, not sure I'll ever have an answer for any of those questions. But I can tell you one thing- I damn sure know where they'll be shopping for clothes the next time they get knocked up by Rakim (or is it really his best friend Raheem's baby?).

Mmm-hmm, thanks to Forever 21's new maternity line, Love21 all the underage and barely legal moms-to-be can now cop stylish maternity clothes at bargain basement prices.

Isn't this great? Aren't you relieved that a company that fervently donates to the conservative right and takes the time to print the phrase John 3:16 on the bottom of their shopping bags is now making sure that teenage moms have access fly gear?

Nice.

I know I'll sleep better at night.

2 comments:

  1. And this is why I love you!

    I'm totally into extreme ignorance on TV too. I luuuurrrrve me some Maury. LMAO

    Random P.S. My bestie once saw the girl who used to make her life miserable in JHS on Maury for the 3 time, testing the 8th man in search of the father(s) of her 5 kids. The results still weren't positive but my friend reveled in evil glee at the used to be popular girl who once harassed her mercilessly. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

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  2. A real-life story on how weight loss helps to fit into your favorite sexy bikini can be accessed right at our weight loss blog.

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