grown folk bidnezz...

When I first sat down to write, my knee jerk reaction was to discuss how much I enjoyed yesterday afternoon's MJ Tribute. Like seriously, I think I cried for at least two hours straight. Especially when J-Hud and her 8-month pregnant self murdered 'Will You Be There.' But since my out-of-wack hormones are a personal issue and you can read detailed coverage damn near any and everywhere, I figure we'll move on. 

Unfortunately, there really isn't anything to move on to... the Steve McNair drama is ongoing and more depressing by the moment, Plaxico Burress is still tryin' to figure out how to avoid going to jail for 3 years behind that incident where he shot himself and some poor 2 year-old in England was crushed to death by his parent's ginormous flat screen when it fell off the wall. Sigh.

So what say we discuss a recent poll?  Ahh... here's a good one: Should you toss the lingerie rec'd from an ex or is it okay to wear it for the next?

This question actually came from my homeboy JC, who was mortified to discovered that a woman he knew (in the biblical sense) was recycling the pretty panties. In fact, he thought it was borderline blasphemy.  And wait on it... this highly educated, well-rounded, extensive traveled, sensitive, giving, forreal, forreal no b.s GOOD Black man actually wanted to debate whether he'd be wrong for snatching back all the panties he's ever bought over the course of his very well seasoned life. 

Uh-yeah, please feel free to insert the blank stare and three blinks. Cause even if you agree with him, Indian giving is waaay too 3rd grade for my nerves.

But anyhoo, that's a whole other poll.  Now, when it comes to the question of the drawers, survey says: 

28% agree- trash and start fresh

71% disagree- rinse and recycle

Sorry JC, but I told you so. 

If it makes you feel any better, in our heart of hearts, I think most women really want to be able to roll with the 28% that are able to trash and start fresh.  But there's a huge difference between what a girl wants and what a woman is able to do. 

And regrettably, it is HARD out here for a pimp. While I might be able to catch a little hook-up on some GAP clothes here and there (I hope you guys are still praying), unless you're living a life where there's a good chance of paparazzi vying for pics of your panties, ain't no hand-outs coming 'round from La Perla no time soon. Okay? 

Not to mention trying to: A) find the time to shop for lingerie that fits properly (don't act like that's not an all day affair) and B) afford the items that really really set it off (cause no matter how much they redesign, the VS just isn't cutting it nowadays) is A LOT.  God forbid I were to just up and chuck EVERY single pair of cute drawers and etc that I've received over the years, neither one of us would like what was left. Believe that.

So until I meet the man that I can march up into Henri Bendel for a complete re-up without catching a whole lotta side-eye (read: bitch please) action, me and the majority are just gonna stock up on the Woolite coupons.

it comes in 3s...

As much as I hate it to do it, I gotta call a spade, a spade: It's been a bad meaning bad, NOT bad meaning good couple of weeks for the folks. Mmm-hmmm...

First we lost the King of Pop, then VIBE Magazine folded (say what you want but for the record, this was where I earned my very first major magazine cover byline.  Thanks Danyel!) and now the very married Super Bowl Quarterback Steve McNair was found shot up like Swiss cheese in a condo with his 20 year-old 'girlfriend.' Sigh. 

My people, my people, we gots to do better. 

me,myself and i...

So after debating back and forth for some time, a good friend of mine (who shall forever remain nameless) got this AMAZING but EXTREME haircut. Mind you, I'm not saying she is the only person in the whole world with the particular style but it's def the first in her immediate circle of friends.  Which is always kinda hot, right?

Well don't you know, not even a week and a half later one of her homegirls called her FROM the chair in the local beauty salon asking/telling her that she wanted the exact same hairstyle too (cause at the point that you're i the chair, you're so not asking). And wait on it... could my friend explain to her stylist how the cut was done??

Err-um, what in the-hand-rocks-the cradle-hell?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear folks on the whole "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" party line. BUT lemme tell you something... forreal, foreal? When it comes to MOST women (cause there are always the A-list celeb exceptions) that mantra does NOT, I repeat DOES NOT apply to three things: hair, handbag or shoes. Straight. Up.

And don't try me on it. We are too grown.  I do not want to be surrounded by a circle of clones. Go get your own style, dammit. I can barely cobble mine together without you encroaching on my ish!

Survey says, LAME.

wrong on so many levels...

Err-um, why is Ruby (my neighbor's bad ass miniature chihuahua) pregnant AGAIN?  

Like seriously? Not for nothing, all that runt does is bark her head off, pee on my doormat and get knocked up.  She's like the four-legged welfare queen of my building.  It's too much.

So anyhoo, I go over to offer my congrats on the impeding births. Cause you know, rule number 1000001 to surviving life in the hood: do not judge. If you don't think four dogs ( 2 chihuahuas and 2 pitbulls) in one cramped two bedroom apt isn't already a lot, so be it. Have at it. 

But wait on it... don't you know this hooker is knocked up by her own son from the last litter, Brownie!?!?!

Ruby + Brownie= a little bit of vomit in my mouth right now.

Jesus be the ASPCA because yours truly is DONE.

may the GAP be with you...

Random: so the other day I received an email from a unknown marketing company rep named Justine asking whether I'd be interested in becoming a Gap Brand Enthusiast. According to her email, somehow or another, they'd stumbled on my blog, enjoyed the tomfoolery and wanted to see if I was down to test out the new 'Born To Fit' line of GAP jeans before they hit the stores this fall for, wait on it... FREE.   

Oh please believe, I  just knew this was one of those African-money-laundering-pyramid schemes.  Not to mention that I haven't comfortably fit into a pair of GAP jeans since I was in freaking college. But then I reconsidered and was like what the hell?  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

Turns out that not only is this operation very legit but in addition to the jeans, if selected (of course there's a whole process) not only will I get to try out the new jeans, but for the next year I'll also get all the latest and greatest releases from GAP!!  

Err-umm free clothes for a year in the middle of a recession? Can the church get an amen???

Then wait on it... to sweeten the deal, Justine ends the meeting by taking me shopping for an outfit at the nearby GAP store!! I copped the most comfy summer weight cardigan (I'm actually wearing it in my profile photo), a great pair of linen trousers, a pretty gray sweater top that you will probably be seeing on TV sometime sooner or later and a silk tank top that's gonna be hot to death with my white jeans. Mmm-hmmm, just like that.

 

So anyhoo, we shall see. I assume that they'll be making their decision within the month. Fingers crossed... If nothing else, THANKS JUSTINE. This post is for you.