folks are tired...

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Hmm... spent all day yesterday getting ready for and barely making my flight to Chicago so it wasn't until this morning that I heard all the hoopla about the air traffic controller who fell asleep on the job while a plane with a sick patient was trying to land.

Dude, as if flying isn't scary enough. Oh and, this makes what? The 7th time something like this has happened this year? As in, seven times the past FOUR months? SMDH.

But as potentially horrible as that situation could have been, folks falling asleep on the job still makes more sense than the woman in Newburgh who drove her four kids into the Hudson River after a fight with her boyfriend/ baby father.

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And what on it- Now that the 25 year-old killed herself and 3 of the 4 children, folks are coming forward to say that the woman had been behaving strangely and seemed overwhelmed in the weeks leading up to this tragedy. Really? And no one thought to check up on her and offer to help?

I can't. We need to be more to kind to one another. Life is hard, everyone could use a helping hand.

*gets off of soapbox & starts to pray for the 10 year-old who managed to escape from the sinking car*

i want a t-shirt too...

Random: Has anyone tried these Insanity workout DVDs?

Flipping through the channels over weekend and happened upon the crazy looking info-mercial. And I was INSTANTLY intrigued.

Cause the Lord knows, my relationship with the gym has recently become sketchy at best. I just can't stand the smell, the machines are either occupied or broken and the person working out next to me ALWAYS seems to be coughing and sneezing. And is there anything worse than the sick person at the gym who's trying to "sweat" out a cold but doing nothing more than infecting everyone around them?????

READ: I need another way to address the soft & squishy situation that's happening on my tummy and thighs. IMMEDIATELY.

So tell me, is this just Tae Bo 2000 or does this nonsense really work?

like machine guns in grand central...

I just finished reading the details on the burqa veil ban that takes affect in France today. Hmmm. I must say, I'm consistently amazed by how deeply the threat of terrorism has changed in the world in the past 10 years. The international level of unabashed fear and intolerance has hit an all time high and continues to rise. And not for nothing, it's really sad and unsettling.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for safety. But something about this law feels extremely discriminatory.

I'm jussayin.

she better than me...

Err-um real talk, this picture of Wendy Williams' feet that she twit pic'd after DWTS practice made me GAG!!

Yo, this is CRAZY! What is that lump on her right foot? And why are the bunions on her toes doubled up like that?? MY GOD.

And you better believe her husband Kevin faithfully massages them joints for her... with his bare hands.

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To hell with Charlie Sheen, Wendy Williams got that certified TIGERS BLOOD pumping through her veins. Cause not for nothing, I refuse to do anything that would cause my feet to look like this besides run for my DAMN life.

This is NOT winning.

like chubby trainers at the gym...

So err-um yeah... I gotta ask, exactly WHY are people beefing about the updated etiquette and food restrictions being imposed on New York City Health Department employees??

Because I for one, COMPLETELY agree.

For those who didn't read the article, here are some of the changes that will be going into effect today:

-no eavesdropping btwn cubicles

-no overbearing perfumes

-no displays, photos or signs that may be considered offensive

-no "celebration" cake and cookies being served at the same time

-tap water is a must

-no drinks with more than 25 calories per 8oz servings

-cut muffins & bagels in half, or order mini-sizes

-ABSOLUTELY no fried foods

Personally, I think the real tragedy is that it's necessary to TELL folks to act right and eat healthy when that's what they do for a living. ALLEGEDLY.

*insert mean momma side-eye*

I mean honestly? No eavesdropping or fried food? It's the freaking HEALTH DEPARTMENT. Call me crazy but of ALL the government agencies, they should be the LAST folks gossiping OR eating crappy food on taxpayers' dimes.

*sucks back of the teeth HARD*

Man listen... Go talk 'ish over that cup of red Kool-Aid during your regular off-site lunch break cause nobody needs it. At. All.

stop the presses...

So about this reality show fights montage the Daily News compiled... Um yeah.

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While I feel like we've seen most of them in commercial snippets, it's certainly shocking as shit when you run them all together. And just between you and me, it's even more shocking was that there was not ONE black person involved in this craziness.

*light bulb goes off*

Of course, that's why it's suddenly a mainstream concern. 'Cause now that reality shows are capturing the Kardashians caught up in domestic violence and teen moms from middle America slap boxing over the little black boy in the mugshot it's DEFINITELY a crisis.

Yeah, now I totally understand.

time to dial down the meds...

WAYMENT, what in the slew-footed hell happened to Britney Spears' rhythm??

Granted, I'd read the rumblings on Twitter about the GMA performance being a little shakey bakey but I charged that on the time of the day. I mean, anyone coming from the west coast *cough* that's as hopped up on anti-depressants as Miss Spears *cough* might be a little sleepy and off beat at 7.30am.

But now this Kimmel Show catastrophe? Oh uh-uh. This my darling is ree-diculous.

Could she have been anymore lackluster? Or out of shape? Seriously, homegirl went from sexy hourglass to a straight cardboard box. And please don't get me started on the square 2-inch heels or that god awful, green & black criss-crossed onsey which was doing nada except making her look like the Incredible Hulk.

Oh Brit-Brit.

And let's be honest, when the dancing fails to entertain, we're forced to actually listen to the auto-tune nonsense you're passing off as music nowadays. Who wants that?

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Exactly.

this is not the sticky icky...

Hmm, so I was listening to the radio this morning and Snoop was on air promoting his new album, Doggumentary. And truth be told, I didn't even know Snoop had a new song out let alone an entire album.

At first, I felt badly. I thought to myself, "DAYUM I'm getting old. I mean, how can I not know when a new Snoop album is dropping??"

So naturally, I immediately google the first (and apparently, ONLY) video from the album. And err-um, yeah. I'm not that old. This ish is just not remotely noteworthy. In fact, it's kinda bad.

No offense my nizzle.

*shrugs & goes back to listening to my iTunes library*

time to do some soul searching...

Well err-um, alright then. How's about I'm going to go on and file this video under, "Things That Make Me Feel Better About Sleeping In On Sunday Mornings."

My boy Jelani sent this to me and asked me to comment but honestly, I don't think there's much to say aside from, the devil is a busy man & of course, let us pray.

Seriously.

Because I certainly understand people needing something to believe in to get through these hard times but dancing through dollars? Well, lets just...

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it ain't right, but I surely understand...

YIKES!

This video of a grown ass white woman getting beat up on the subway by two teenagers is NUTS. This is EXACTLY the reason that as soon as the weather warms up, my little behind chooses to walk as much as possible.

Cause not for nothing, NYC Public Transportation Survival Rule #1: MIND YA BUSINESS.

READ: if it ain't a rape, robbery, gang assault or a freaking bomb, keep it moving.

Honestly, I don't know what kind of Rocky Balboa juice the so-called ADULT in this situation was sipping but there was no reason for her to comment on what that CHILD is eating. I don't care is if it smelled like dog crap. As long as she wasn't spilling the food, it is what it is.

AND she called the teenager an animal??

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I hate to say it but, there ain't enough koom-ba-ya/ turn the other cheek/ goodwill in the WORLD for that last comment right there. Ever.

*shrugs & walks away*

the times they are a changing...

Oh shoot, according to my Mac dashboard, today's temperatures are going to reach 62 degrees! WOO HOO! THANK YOU ST. PATRICK!

*back flips off the couch into a full split*

On a not so joyous note, just got the dreaded email notice from The New York Times. Apparently, they've finally decided to implement digital subscriptions for access to the website. *sad little nephew face* According to the notice, as of March 28th:

On NYTimes.com, you'll be able to view 20 articles each month for free (including slide shows, videos and other features). After 20 articles, they'll ask you to become a digital subscriber, with full access to the site.

On the smartphone and tablet apps, the Top News section will remain free of charge. For access to all other sections within, they'll ask you to become a digital subscriber.

On the marginally brighter side, readers who come to Times articles through links from search, blogs and social media like Facebook and Twitter will be able to read those articles, even if they have reached their monthly reading limit. Although for some search engines, users will have a daily limit of free links to Times articles.

Le sigh.

We all knew it was coming but damn, damn, DAMN.

*shakes fist at the sky & starts searching for gold coins in between the couch cushions*

the gospel according to Lifetime...

Uuugh. Just read a story in the NY Daily News about a 23 year-old Queens woman who was shot and killed by muggers after she allegedly refused to give up her purse. Can you imagine? But wait on it... why was her husband standing right next to her when all the drama went down??

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Yo. Not to be insensitive to the tragic nature of this situation but how in the world is your husband gonna stand there and let you get into a back & forth bunch of thugs with guns?

Uh-uh, there's no way.

Even IF homegirl didn't have the commonsense God gave a billy goat and was really acting belligerent over a damn purse, as a loving spouse it was HIS responsibility to step in & snatch that handbag right outta her hands. And after the muggers left, then the two could've beefed about it later.... as opposed to him now burying her six feet under.

I'm jussayin.

*cough* $50 says homeboy collects a major life insurance policy & runs off with the sidechick in t-minus two seconds.*cough*

about to hit a strip mall...

Oh Jesus, may the fashion gods forgive me, for I have SINNED. Here is my confession:

Since the snow finally melted, I've been trying to spend more time walking in the fresh air. You know, as opposed to being cramped up in a sweaty subway car full of thousands of people with different (and often questionable) hygiene habits.

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So yesterday I decided to go cop a new pair of walking sneakers. And at some point, during the 20 minutes I was in the store I noticed that the majority of the sales girls were wearing Sketchers Shape-Ups. Which strikes me as odd because of all the options at their disposal- Asics, Nike, Reebok, New Balance; these women ALL voluntarily picked ugly ass SKETCHERS? WTH?

So I pulled this cute little black girl who clearly didn't require any shaping to the side and asked her what was really hood with everyone wearing the official Guido housewife sneakers. And she told me, it had nothing to do with a promotion or even toning up. According to her, they are simply the most comfortable sneakers she's worn in LIFE.

I'm sure you can already see where this is going...

Next thing I know, my highly impressionable ass is trying them on. And I gotta tell you, that girl ain't NEVA lied. Like my grey suede Uggs- FUGLY beyond words but feel like MAGIC on my feet. SMDH.

Needless to say, I am now the mortified owner of a new pair of Sketchers Shape-Ups.

*hangs head in shame & disbelief*

I hate myself right now.

Amen.

happy ash wednesday...

Dang. Just finished reading the New York Times article about the 21 Catholic priests in Philadelphia that were recently suspended for sexual abuse of a minor and/ or boundary issues with them.

DEAD FISH EYES

But wait on it... a grand jury report issued on February 10th of 2010 accused the Philadelphia Archdiocese of a widespread cover-up of predatory priests, stretching over decades, and said that as many as 37 priests remained active in the ministry despite credible accusations against them. And naturally, at the time the cardinal vehemently denied the claim.

And then this. A entire YEAR later.

Le sigh.

I feel so sad for all the victims who were put in harm's way because the Catholic Church refuses to be accountable. Life is hard enough nowadays without having your faith in your religious leaders destroyed over and over again.

picked my poison...

Dearest Baby Jesus,

I know I really shouldn't enjoy this new Trina song as much as I do. Especially with tired ass T-Pain harmonizing in the background. But the beat is hot and the lyrics are HEE-larious. And well, the only other alternative at the moment is Willow Smith's torturous '21st Century Girl.'

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Forgive me and all the women that will identify with the words of the song.

Amen.
Trina Ft. T-Pain-Ghetto by Freaknik

you tell me...

So I was listening to the radio this morning and the co-hosts were having a heated debate about whether marriage was relevant nowadays. And I have to tell you, I was genuinely blown by the fact that none of the three (2 guys and a girl) saw any point to the institution in today's society.

Really?

Because despite the fact that I am nowhere near ready to be locked in a legal union myself, I do wholeheartedly believe that healthy marriages are more relevant they've ever been. Mind you, I said HEALTHY marriages.

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The way I see it a healthy marriage forces people to share, communicate, respect and cooperate with another person even when he or she is not getting exactly what they want.

Which is EXACTLY what's lacking in the world today.

I mean, what do guys think? Sure, it's not for everybody but in the grand scheme of life does that mean marriage isn't relevant? Or am I just a throwback romantic who needs to stop listening to crappy NYC morning radio and go get her taxes done?

#planbetter...

I admit it. I started following Charlie Sheen on Twitter this morning.

*hangs head in shame*

I know, I know, I'm totally enabling the crazy. But I have to tell you, the tomfoolery is just so damn entertaining. And I don't care how great folks say his performances were in "Two and A Half Men" ('cause I have yet to watch a single episode), something tells me it hardly compares to the comedy that is now Charlie's "tigersblood" and his "bi-winning."

HEE-larious.

Oh but I can tell you who's NOT winning this morning:

Bringham Young University basketball star, Brandon Davies.

Nope. Not one bit. Homeboy done got himself suspended for the rest of the season. Mmm-hmm...

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, despite being the team's leading rebounder and third leading scorer, the forward was dismissed from the No. 3 Cougars for the rest of the season for breaking the school's moral code when he-WAIT ON IT- admitted to engaging in sexual relations with his girlfriend.

As most of you know, BYU is a private university run by the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter-day Saints. And them folk in Utah do not play that ish. At. All.

Apparently, the administration fully expects all its students to live up to the school's Honor Code Statement which among other things includes abstaining from alcohol, coffee and living "a chaste and virtuous life."

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Okay then... Ya'll better stop playing the reindeer games with them Mormons.

*pours out a little holy water*

pride goes before the fall...

Not for nothing, somebody might wanna send a prayer up for Pastor Grant Storms' soul ASAP.

Cause apparently, the prominent New Orleans based Christian leader, who is best known for using a bullhorn to protest an annual three-day gay parade as "depraved"and describes masturbation as an immoral act, was just caught jerking off in his van. At a public park. During the day. While kids were around.

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Talking about, the TWO witnesses were confused. He was just peeing in a bottle... That is, until whatever tiny sense of honesty he actually has kicked in. Then the hypocrite finally confessed to beating off.

I mean, if this isn't just... typical.

*drops the rosary beads and walks away*

iyanla (1), nir (-1000000000)...

Hmm, so I guess yesterday was the official 'Get In That Ass' TV Journalist holiday, huh?

First, Oprah went IN on poor Iyanla Vanzant for trying it on her time and going hard about getting her own show before Oprah felt ready to give it to her. And I mean, she got O-P-E-N.

Poor Iyanla was crying and begging for forgiveness before she could even take her seat properly. Um, can you say AKWARD? And then to make matters worse, once they started talking it really seemed like this THIRTEEN year beef was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding between two strong-willed women who were both waaaaaay too sensitive.

Poor Iyanla went looking for extra validation and reassurance from Oprah but unfortunately, she went about it the wrong way. And Oprah (who if you remember wasn't as secure in her own success back in her KKK interviewing days), perceived Iyanla's stepping to her, with lawyers and asking for more concrete assurance (cause they were already in loose negotiations) that she's be given her own show- because "someone important" a.k.a. shady ass Barbara Walters, counter offered as ungrateful. So O and her right hand white girl (cause there's always an assistant that's more offended than the leader) were like, Word? Well, actually Iyanla you can go 'head with that.

You know, kinda like when you tell the dude you KNOW wanna be with that you're thinking about kicking it with the random next dude just to get a reaction... and instead of telling you not to or that he'll be pissed if you do, he wishes you good luck?

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Right.

But when I tell you Mama O didn't have NOTHING on Anderson Cooper's interview/ public thrashing of dick head journalist Nir Rosen who tweeted "Lara Logan had to outdo Anderson," about the CNN correspondent, who was reportedly sexually assaulted AND punched in the head multiple times while covering the recent celebrations in Egypt. And then homeboy ignorantly followed that comment up with, "Yes yes it's wrong what happened to her. Of course. I don't support that. But it would have been funny if it happened to Anderson too."

BABY!!

Anderson lit homeboy's arse and alibi on FIRE. Every time dude tried to explain and apologize, Anderson just went deeper and deeper and DEEPER. Shoot, I promise you, after it was over dude had a serious case of diarrhea.

Oh well. Cause Anderson Cooper might be a certified media whore but bump no one deserves to have a sexual assault or ass whooping made marginalized.

a Black History month gift from G.Payton...

YOOOOOOOO! What in the wide-nostril-cross-dressing- hell is this??

Like forreal, is this clown really on YouTube rhapsodizing about his damn wig $5 wig?

Talking 'bout, "Dis is 'Still I Rise' hair; the hope & dream of the slave. Dis is for the colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf- but if them girls was laid, they wouldn't have been considering suicide."

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You know what, no. Just no. I don't care what I see or hear, the devil is a liar.

*logs off of life & goes to glory*