shortest three day weekend eva...

So my very 1st issue officially hits the streets at the end of this week- WOO HOO!!

READ: Don't walk, RUN to your local supermarket, magazine stand, wherever you can find it and cop a copy of the issue with Garcelle Beauvais on the cover IMMEDIATELY.

And please don't think I put Garcelle on the cover just because she has flawless skin and a new show coming out. Eh, not so much. Actually, your girl landed an EXCLUSIVE! For the first time and ONLY in JET, she's dishing on all the messy details from her recent divorce.

*brushes off shoulders*

So hurry up, cause I am DYING to know what you guys think!!

Oh and after you hit me back, log on to the JET website and enter to win a pair of kicks from the exclusive new Swizz Beatz/ Reebok Classic collection. HERE.

This is the very first giveaway JET has ever done. My goal is to make it a regular part of the issues. But you know how it goes- the higher the number of entrants, the bigger and more interesting the prizes will become down the road. *hint, hint*

On a more personal note, just finished up my very first holiday weekend in the new city.... Um yeah. Can't really say I'm loving the temperamental Chicago weather. It was literally 50 degrees and pouring rain all day on Saturday and Sunday. Then I woke up to freaking 90 degree weather on Memorial Day Monday.

Ree-damn-diculous.

I did however manage to make the most of the one sunny day and attend my very first "Chi-Town BBQ." (Mind you, I've been hearing about these infamous gathering of black people, good music and free food/ drink for as long as folks have known that I was moving to the city.) And I'm happy to report that it was def fun times to be had by all. Held out by Lake Michigan, there were at least 100 people at all times and the food, drink & eye candy were on point.

So three cheers for that- Hip, hip hooray! Hip,hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!

Anyhoo, that's about it for now. Gotta do a little bit of work before I go to sleep so I can be prepared to hit the ground running tomorrow. Have a great week party people!

xoxox

BTW, this ssue doesn't "officially hit stands until next week. So Moment readers are actually getting a "sneak peak" before everybody else! Don't say I never do anything for you.

start spreading the news...

So as you may have noticed, I've been a little M.I.A from the blog lately.... my bad. BUT as you may have heard by now, it was for a very, very, very good reason.

*clears throat and stands up to every inch of my five feet*

I am so excited to announce that after five WONDERFUL years of self-employment... (insert drum roll, flashing lights & smoke machine, please)

I have accepted the offer to join the Johnson Publishing family as the new Editor-In-Chief of JET Magazine!

*slight pause to allow all those who know how much I love working in my pajamas to recover from the shock*

Obviously, it was a huge decision that did not come easily for many reasons- all of them starting & ending with my love of my very blessed life in New York City.

*adjusts my lucky Yankees cap*

However, the opportunity to lead the change that's going to re-energize & re-introduce such an iconic brand to new generations of readers was one that any journalist that loves her career as much as I do could not pass up. I am humbled to have been chosen for this important mission. And I look forward to rising to the challenge. (Oh and did I mention, the uber fabulous Desiree Rogers is my boss? BLANK STARE. Exaaactly.)

So naturally, I want to express my sincerest gratitude to each and everyone who has supported me and my career over the past 10 years. Whether you've been rocking with me since my insane Road Tripping days at HONEY, while I was pretending to be a 'Privileged White Woman at JANE, spent the money and purchased one of my books or simply forward my blog posts every once in a while, your energy has helped me reach THIS moment.

Thank you, thank you, thank YOU.

It's going to be an adventure. I certainly expect you to stick around for the ride.

folks are tired...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Hmm... spent all day yesterday getting ready for and barely making my flight to Chicago so it wasn't until this morning that I heard all the hoopla about the air traffic controller who fell asleep on the job while a plane with a sick patient was trying to land.

Dude, as if flying isn't scary enough. Oh and, this makes what? The 7th time something like this has happened this year? As in, seven times the past FOUR months? SMDH.

But as potentially horrible as that situation could have been, folks falling asleep on the job still makes more sense than the woman in Newburgh who drove her four kids into the Hudson River after a fight with her boyfriend/ baby father.

BLANK STARE

And what on it- Now that the 25 year-old killed herself and 3 of the 4 children, folks are coming forward to say that the woman had been behaving strangely and seemed overwhelmed in the weeks leading up to this tragedy. Really? And no one thought to check up on her and offer to help?

I can't. We need to be more to kind to one another. Life is hard, everyone could use a helping hand.

*gets off of soapbox & starts to pray for the 10 year-old who managed to escape from the sinking car*

i want a t-shirt too...

Random: Has anyone tried these Insanity workout DVDs?

Flipping through the channels over weekend and happened upon the crazy looking info-mercial. And I was INSTANTLY intrigued.

Cause the Lord knows, my relationship with the gym has recently become sketchy at best. I just can't stand the smell, the machines are either occupied or broken and the person working out next to me ALWAYS seems to be coughing and sneezing. And is there anything worse than the sick person at the gym who's trying to "sweat" out a cold but doing nothing more than infecting everyone around them?????

READ: I need another way to address the soft & squishy situation that's happening on my tummy and thighs. IMMEDIATELY.

So tell me, is this just Tae Bo 2000 or does this nonsense really work?

like chubby trainers at the gym...

So err-um yeah... I gotta ask, exactly WHY are people beefing about the updated etiquette and food restrictions being imposed on New York City Health Department employees??

Because I for one, COMPLETELY agree.

For those who didn't read the article, here are some of the changes that will be going into effect today:

-no eavesdropping btwn cubicles

-no overbearing perfumes

-no displays, photos or signs that may be considered offensive

-no "celebration" cake and cookies being served at the same time

-tap water is a must

-no drinks with more than 25 calories per 8oz servings

-cut muffins & bagels in half, or order mini-sizes

-ABSOLUTELY no fried foods

Personally, I think the real tragedy is that it's necessary to TELL folks to act right and eat healthy when that's what they do for a living. ALLEGEDLY.

*insert mean momma side-eye*

I mean honestly? No eavesdropping or fried food? It's the freaking HEALTH DEPARTMENT. Call me crazy but of ALL the government agencies, they should be the LAST folks gossiping OR eating crappy food on taxpayers' dimes.

*sucks back of the teeth HARD*

Man listen... Go talk 'ish over that cup of red Kool-Aid during your regular off-site lunch break cause nobody needs it. At. All.

time to dial down the meds...

WAYMENT, what in the slew-footed hell happened to Britney Spears' rhythm??

Granted, I'd read the rumblings on Twitter about the GMA performance being a little shakey bakey but I charged that on the time of the day. I mean, anyone coming from the west coast *cough* that's as hopped up on anti-depressants as Miss Spears *cough* might be a little sleepy and off beat at 7.30am.

But now this Kimmel Show catastrophe? Oh uh-uh. This my darling is ree-diculous.

Could she have been anymore lackluster? Or out of shape? Seriously, homegirl went from sexy hourglass to a straight cardboard box. And please don't get me started on the square 2-inch heels or that god awful, green & black criss-crossed onsey which was doing nada except making her look like the Incredible Hulk.

Oh Brit-Brit.

And let's be honest, when the dancing fails to entertain, we're forced to actually listen to the auto-tune nonsense you're passing off as music nowadays. Who wants that?

BLANK STARE

Exactly.

time to do some soul searching...

Well err-um, alright then. How's about I'm going to go on and file this video under, "Things That Make Me Feel Better About Sleeping In On Sunday Mornings."

My boy Jelani sent this to me and asked me to comment but honestly, I don't think there's much to say aside from, the devil is a busy man & of course, let us pray.

Seriously.

Because I certainly understand people needing something to believe in to get through these hard times but dancing through dollars? Well, lets just...

BLANK STARE

the upside of progress...

LOVE it when technology gets it right.

Just read about this new computer program called "Silence of the Celebs" that will filter out any mentions of which ever celebrity you are most tired of reading about from your online news media just by entering their names.

Mind you, it's totally not limited to celebs. Feel free to filter out any topic of choice. (So basically, we can all pretend that Sarah Palin, the entire Tea Party and the ignorant Arizona GOP don't even exist.)

Although currently it only works on Twitter, NYTimes, CNN, Huffington Post, NYPost, Google News, Gawker, Mashable and TMZ; the creators are working on expanding it more sources as I type.

And and wait on it... it's FREE.

Check it out HERE. You can thank me later.

he don't wanna win...

Dang, prayers up for C-Breezy this morning. That child can't seem to get out of his way.

Apparently this morning, homeboy flew into a rage mid- Good Morning America taping after being prodded one too many times about the Rihanna incident. According to sources, he ripped off his shirt, broke a mirror and smashed a window. talking about, he's tired of people bring up the past... and the difference between his treatment and Charlie Sheen.

Mind you, his album F.A.M.E drops today.

BLANK STARE

You know, I'm not even going to bother getting into the fact that as long as that little boy BREATHES, people are not going to tire of asking him about bashing Rihanna's face in OR the fact that Charlie Sheen is a grown ass WHITE man who's been in this game for longer than Chris has been alive. So no, he'll never receive equal treatment. The End.

Instead, I'm just going to point out that across the board music critics have given this album notably favorable reviews. Which is a pretty big deal for any artist nowadays let alone one that stays on the wrong side of public opinion. Okay?

Bottom Line:

Boo, you're 21 yrs-old. Watching you self-destruct has become exhausting. Enough of the temper tantrums, nude pics, ridiculous dye job and slew of angry tweets. You live a charmed life that MILLIONS of folks would barter their first born to enjoy. Grow up & act like you appreciate it.

Please & Thanks.

don't just look, do something...

Gotta tell you, the headlines today really blew me: 6.1 aftershocks in Japan as the nuclear radiation wafts through the air, a Queens teen beat to death in a gay bias attack, the 3 year-old suffering through alcohol withdrawal in Britain, the giant panda that bit it's San Diego zookeeper and yet another bus accident.

Oh and let us not forget the on-going drama in Cleavland, TX where the 11 year-old girl was viciously gang-raped by EIGHTEEN boys & men in a deserted FEMA trailer.

*shudders uncontrollably*

I mean, it's all good fine to be on our individual grinds but at a certain point, you gotta stop and look around. And then, take responsibility for what's happening. I hope that everyone reading this post is involved in some sort of positive, community service that will change another person's life for the better. Cause it's a small world. And every day the crazy gets a little closer to our homes.

*gets off of soapbox & volunteers more time w/ Hip Hop 4 Life*

happy ash wednesday...

Dang. Just finished reading the New York Times article about the 21 Catholic priests in Philadelphia that were recently suspended for sexual abuse of a minor and/ or boundary issues with them.

DEAD FISH EYES

But wait on it... a grand jury report issued on February 10th of 2010 accused the Philadelphia Archdiocese of a widespread cover-up of predatory priests, stretching over decades, and said that as many as 37 priests remained active in the ministry despite credible accusations against them. And naturally, at the time the cardinal vehemently denied the claim.

And then this. A entire YEAR later.

Le sigh.

I feel so sad for all the victims who were put in harm's way because the Catholic Church refuses to be accountable. Life is hard enough nowadays without having your faith in your religious leaders destroyed over and over again.

#planbetter...

I admit it. I started following Charlie Sheen on Twitter this morning.

*hangs head in shame*

I know, I know, I'm totally enabling the crazy. But I have to tell you, the tomfoolery is just so damn entertaining. And I don't care how great folks say his performances were in "Two and A Half Men" ('cause I have yet to watch a single episode), something tells me it hardly compares to the comedy that is now Charlie's "tigersblood" and his "bi-winning."

HEE-larious.

Oh but I can tell you who's NOT winning this morning:

Bringham Young University basketball star, Brandon Davies.

Nope. Not one bit. Homeboy done got himself suspended for the rest of the season. Mmm-hmm...

According to the Salt Lake Tribune, despite being the team's leading rebounder and third leading scorer, the forward was dismissed from the No. 3 Cougars for the rest of the season for breaking the school's moral code when he-WAIT ON IT- admitted to engaging in sexual relations with his girlfriend.

As most of you know, BYU is a private university run by the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter-day Saints. And them folk in Utah do not play that ish. At. All.

Apparently, the administration fully expects all its students to live up to the school's Honor Code Statement which among other things includes abstaining from alcohol, coffee and living "a chaste and virtuous life."

BLANK STARE w/ THREE LOONG BLINKS

Okay then... Ya'll better stop playing the reindeer games with them Mormons.

*pours out a little holy water*

we're not drinking the tea in nyc...

Anti-Abortion Billboard in SoHo Comes Down: MyFoxNY.com

So Life Always' offensive anti-abortion billboard came down yesterday afternoon, huh?

Woo hoo! I love it when the good guys win. Shout outs to everyone who complained, called and were prepared to mobilize to against such a blatant racist attack against African-Americans and every woman's right to reproductive choice.

*round of applause*

With that said, prayers up for the union folks in Wisconsin. It seems that despite their prolonged protests, the State House of Reps finally got it's way. Shady ass Governor Scott Walker and the GOP passed that controversial labor bill earlier this morning. Hmm... not a good look for the working middle class. At. All.

I surely hope they remember this nonsense come 2012.

worth 5 minutes of your time...

By now, anyone with a modicum of media awareness has heard about the ridiculously offensive anti-abortion billboard that the pro-life group Life Always has posted in Soho for the next 3 weeks. So I'm not going to bother ranting about the absurdity of it all, instead how about this:

Don't just be angry and offended, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

The name of the woman that approved this ad and it's placement is Mary Bentley. Her office phone number is 214.520.9188. (No, she doesn't even live in NYC. She lives in Texas)

CALL HER

Tell her how offensive you find the billboard and it's placement. Demand that they remove it immediately.

Everyone has a right to voice their opinion, including pro-lifers. However, considering how FEW African Americans reside in the SoHo area, it certainly seems as if the message is more of a statement ABOUT African-Americans as opposed to FOR African-Americans.

Which is RACIST.

Oh and please be clear; while the statistics being quoted may be true, those numbers DO NOT include terminations performed at private medical facilities. READ: where women with money & access choose to have their unwanted pregnancies discreetly handled.

BLANK STARE

when mama tina takes the night off...

So about last night's Grammys....

BLANK STARE

I mean, honestly from that horrific Aretha tribute to Lady Gaga popping out an egg just to sing over Madonna's 'Express Yourself' all the way to Rih Rih's off-key, wannabe dance hall moment and Dr. Dre's old school mom jeans. Le Sigh. Yeah, I think I pretty much said it all in my chocolate bar fueled Twitter feed rant. In case you missed it, go HERE.

But lemme ask you this... What's was going on with Beyonce?

When the camera panned on her for the first time sitting next to her BFF Gwyneth Paltrow, I did a damn double take. WTH?? Is she morphing into a white woman right in front of our very eyes?

Granted, I know this is homegirl's "winter" complexion but still- what's really good with the extra strawberry blonde weave and bare face look she was giving? As if she just decided to stop by the awards show on her way back to the hotel from running an errand at Target? I mean, less is more but none is ridiculous.

DEAD FISH EYES

Oh and I'm not even going to discuss the drab, black, bedazzled waist-length tuxedo jacket over a pair of high-waisted, sequined booty shorts....

No bueno.

feel better than you look...

Normally, I don't really get into the Fashion Week madness here in the city. Although I love fabulous clothes and the drama as much as the next person, the idea of sitting around gawking at emaciated human hangers prancing up and down a runway does absolutely nothing for me. At all.

Let's just say, I'm more for the open bar/ free food afterparties. *shrug*

But this year, thanks to the kind folks at Diet Coke I actually had the pleasure of attending the Heart Truth Red Collection Runway Show. Held annually, it features some of our favorite actresses and celebrities wearing red dresses from different designers to raise awareness of heart disease amongst women and inspire us to take action to lower our level of risk.

And I have to tell you, I was impressed.

Not only was the pre-show panel extremely informative. Did you know heart disease kills more women than all forms of cancer COMBINED? But the stars turned out for the event- I had no idea Matthew McCougney could clean up so well. And the boys- from America's Next top Model- Miss J, Jay and Nigel were doing the absolute MOST on the front row. And the actual celeb models were very impressive:

NBC's Ann Curry was super cute, Camila Alves (Matt's baby mama) has a body to D-I-E for, Dita Von Teese is the sexiest white woman on the planet, Laila Ali & her baby bump were jamming, few make divorce look better than Garcelle Beauvais, the size of Suzanne somers breasts was epic and nobody, I mean nobody could outdo Miss Patti prancing down the walk singing her own damn song.

Unfortunately, I spent too much time laughing and clapping at the catwalk antics to get any good pictures.

My bad, next year.

ball till you fall- literally...

WOWOW.

Last week Wednesday, THIRTEEN University of Iowa football players were hospitalized after a saturation workout that included doing a 100 squats and pulling one of those weighted sleds a 100 yards. All 13 kids (cause that's what you are in college) were diagnosed with rhabdomyolysis, “a stress-induced syndrome that can damage cells and cause kidney damage and even failure in severe cases.” Which probably means that even with severe muscle soreness and discolored urine the boys did more workouts until they straight fell out.

BLANK STARE

Kidney damage and failure??? Uh, uh. This foolishness is not okay. Not for nothing, every year about 10 football players die during workouts. Can you imagine if that was your child, relative or friend?

Ironically, at this very moment my girl Tomia is organizing a 5 K Run/ Walk on behalf of Devard Darling's As One Foundation to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of the death of his twin Devaughn. Dude was a FSU football player that died during a workout from the same exact 'ish. Crazy.

You can check that out HERE.

But even more importantly, tell somebody.

lookin mighty sweet...

They say a picture speaks a thousand words. But for the grown ass man who thought it was a good idea to tattoo a three-scoop ice cream cone with lightning bolts shooting out of it on his face, I only have one:

FOOL.

I'm not even going to get into Gucci Mane's loopy blood shot eyes and and slightly ajar bottom lip that give me the distinct impression that he's either suffering from a bad cold or missing a chromosome... or two. Nope.

I'm just going to wish you good luck with that homie.

*logs all the way off*

i used to put books under my pants..

So I realize that I'm SUPER late with this but guess what? I. Don't Care. I've been under a deadline rock for the past week and a half.

This video of a kid who looks to be about 14 years old getting his behind WHOOPED by his Uncle for posting fake gangster nonsense, threats and inappropriate thug bullshit on his Facebook page gave me LIFE this morning.

And when I say, LIFE? I mean, I was literally shaking and crying from laughter for five minutes straight. This might be the only reason I make it through the next 4 days.

Lemme tell you, not because I think watching someone get humiliated is funny. No. Easy. I told ya'll I'm trying to be a better person in 2011.

On the contrary, all I could think as I watched the kid scurry in a circle trying to avoid each smack without actually running away from his Uncle (cause the two worst thing you could do in that situation were run or grab the belt) was, O.M.G, I KNOW that belt!!! I was RAISED with that belt!! It landed on my legs, thighs and back more times than I care to remember!! And I for damn sure been in the same cowered position, apologizing for acting like I didn't have any good goddamn sense. Believe that.

And why? Because my parents taught me better than that. And we don't come from that shit!!

I thank GOD EVERY day there was no cameras around when I was growing up!!

*makes the sign of the cross, presses play and falls out again*

Shout out to all the people who were raised by someone that loved them enough to whip-not BEAT- them when they were getting bigger than their britches.

think before you release...

Wow, what a crazy three days!

On Friday, the Obama administration deleted the words 'Mother' and 'Father' from all official forms for the more politically correct titles, 'Parent 1' and 'Parent 2,' then the senseless massacre in Tucson, Arizona popped off and as of this morning it appears that after years of civil war the Sudanese are about to officially vote their country into two parts. CA-razy!

Oh but wait, wait, how could I forget? Foxy Brown released a snippet from what is supposed to be a diss-track against Lil'Kim, entitled, Christmas Massacre.

BLANK STARE

You know how grown-ups are constantly explaining to children that timing is everything? Well Fox, or may I call you Inga? Timing is EVERYTHING. And the level of ridiculousness that this lame, nonsensical, two-week late, uncalled for, attempt at a diss track has reached is simply BEYOND.

We are in the midst of national and international calamity and this is when you think it's a good time to publicize the implied death threats and raggedy shots you attempted to take at another female rapper? Which for the record, is already two weeks late????

GIRL, BYE.

I'mma need you, that filthy looking lace front, and the Ampro gel shellacked baby hair to go pick up a newspaper, find a friend that can read it to you and quiet ya self.