this is not what Jesus would do...

As if this weather isn't bad enough, now we've got nuns in Brooklyn falsely accusing Black men of rape.

*sucks the back of my teeth CLEAN*

Apparently, Sister Mary Turcotte, who just so happens to be white, filed a false police report claiming she was attacked on the street last Thursday by a 6-foot-4, 250-pound black man.

The 26 year-old liar told detectives the assailant choked her, dragged her through the streets and left her unconscious in a snowbank with her underwear down and her breasts exposed. Mm-hmm, she was real detailed.

It was only after the manhunt kicked off, that the religious fraud caught a bad case of the guilts and admitted that she concocted the entire assault to cover up her sexual shenanigans with a bodega worker.

PAUSE.

The bodega worker? As opposed to the bodega OWNER?? READ: The random dude who stocks the diapers on the shelves in the back???

*nosedives in the shallow end of the pool*

You know what... all that using your hidden sexual fantasies of being dragged through the streets and left in a snowbank to get it in with homie from the bodega is doing way too much. For her sake, I hope Gold helps her figure out whats really going on in that screwed up mind, while her ass sits in a jail cell for a couple of years.

Scandalous trick.