Monday, February 28, 2011

do over please...

So Lady Gaga debuted the video for her latest single, "Born This Way" this morning.

Mmm... yeah. BLANK STARE

Granted, from what I heard from those who actually bothered to suffer through last night's award show, it's probably way more exciting than the Oscars. Howsoever, me no likely at all. Wait, I take that back. I actually do love the bra and panty set that she's prancing around in but other than that... eh.

And you know, it's not even the ridiculous rip-off of a Madonna song that bothers me the most (although it is pretty awful), I just really wish she would get a new choreographer. Watching Gaga jerk & jiggle her body around for over seven minutes wears me the hell out. And worse now that she's wearing flat shoes.


I'm jussayin.

Friday, February 25, 2011

we're not drinking the tea in nyc...

Anti-Abortion Billboard in SoHo Comes Down:

So Life Always' offensive anti-abortion billboard came down yesterday afternoon, huh?

Woo hoo! I love it when the good guys win. Shout outs to everyone who complained, called and were prepared to mobilize to against such a blatant racist attack against African-Americans and every woman's right to reproductive choice.

*round of applause*

With that said, prayers up for the union folks in Wisconsin. It seems that despite their prolonged protests, the State House of Reps finally got it's way. Shady ass Governor Scott Walker and the GOP passed that controversial labor bill earlier this morning. Hmm... not a good look for the working middle class. At. All.

I surely hope they remember this nonsense come 2012.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

worth 5 minutes of your time...

By now, anyone with a modicum of media awareness has heard about the ridiculously offensive anti-abortion billboard that the pro-life group Life Always has posted in Soho for the next 3 weeks. So I'm not going to bother ranting about the absurdity of it all, instead how about this:

Don't just be angry and offended, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

The name of the woman that approved this ad and it's placement is Mary Bentley. Her office phone number is 214.520.9188. (No, she doesn't even live in NYC. She lives in Texas)


Tell her how offensive you find the billboard and it's placement. Demand that they remove it immediately.

Everyone has a right to voice their opinion, including pro-lifers. However, considering how FEW African Americans reside in the SoHo area, it certainly seems as if the message is more of a statement ABOUT African-Americans as opposed to FOR African-Americans.

Which is RACIST.

Oh and please be clear; while the statistics being quoted may be true, those numbers DO NOT include terminations performed at private medical facilities. READ: where women with money & access choose to have their unwanted pregnancies discreetly handled.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

saved you a seat next to me...

So I've been hearing nothing but great things about this new Adele album, 21. Took a listen to the single, "Rolling In the Deep" earlier this morn. Not mad, not mad at all. Will definitely have to add the album to the iTunes Library.

Speaking of music- I know I'm late getting the buzz on OFWGTKA but, Tyler The Creator and his single, "Yonkers" gives me LIFE. Sorta reminds me of the way I felt first time I heard Wu-Tang back in the day. But these kids are waaaay more extreme.

Oh and the video is dope.

*hops on bandwagon*

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

there's got to be a better way...

It never ceases to amaze me how different teenagers are these days from when I was growing up. Like seriously, the sense of entitlement these kids have is just... . BEYOND.

Case in point, this 19 year-old Mexican girl Estibalis Chaves who's been staging a hunger strike in front of the British Embassy in Mexico City for the past 9 days so that she can receive an invitation to Kate & Prince William's upcoming royal wedding.


Talking about, "Are they going to let me die just because they wouldn't give me an invitation to the royal wedding?"

HUH?? Is this some kind of sick joke so that she'll land a reality show? Cause forreal, this can't be life.

For weeks, hundreds of innocent people in the Middle East have been losing their limbs & lives in a fight for BASIC human rights. And this fool ass chick is killing her damn self over a private event that has absolutely nothing to do with her, her family or even her own country???

*sucks the back of teeth completely clean*

Man listen... Someone please order her a pine box RIGHT now.

Monday, February 21, 2011

only cause of barack...

I'm so excited to celebrate President's Day and know I'm actually honoring a Black man. Not just ones that supposedly did something for Black men. Supposedly.

With that said, in honor of the occasion, my girl and I are about to go see the film, I Am Number Four. Real talk, I haven't been to the movies in forever and a day. So I sure hope this is worth my $12 plus popcorn, Coke and candy.

Cause you always gotta have popcorn and candy!

Oh and above is the trailer for the next movie that I'll probably go see, Jumping The Broom. Why? Cause I'm officially in love with Paula Patton as the hapless lightskin romantic comedy lead. And whomever the hell that groom is can get it- several different ways. Don't judge me, I'm 35. My hormones are a raging mess.

BLANK STARE (with a sly wink)

Anyhoo, hope everyone enjoys their day off- if they have it. If not, I'll do my best for the both of us.

Friday, February 18, 2011

and I need a vacation...

Oh yeah, had a surprise visit from one of my besties this morn. She was in the hood getting her hair done, or I should say chopped the hell off. It looks so amazing! She said she was felt like she was being oppressed by all the hair on her hair- how funny! Seems like short cuts are trending this year.

Speaking of surprises, the new Britney Spears video dropped. And I don't hate it.

Her hair and body seem to have finally recovered from the train wreck that was her life.

Oh and for the record, that cat fight towards the end was BOSS.

Get it Brit Brit!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

iyanla (1), nir (-1000000000)...

Hmm, so I guess yesterday was the official 'Get In That Ass' TV Journalist holiday, huh?

First, Oprah went IN on poor Iyanla Vanzant for trying it on her time and going hard about getting her own show before Oprah felt ready to give it to her. And I mean, she got O-P-E-N.

Poor Iyanla was crying and begging for forgiveness before she could even take her seat properly. Um, can you say AKWARD? And then to make matters worse, once they started talking it really seemed like this THIRTEEN year beef was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding between two strong-willed women who were both waaaaaay too sensitive.

Poor Iyanla went looking for extra validation and reassurance from Oprah but unfortunately, she went about it the wrong way. And Oprah (who if you remember wasn't as secure in her own success back in her KKK interviewing days), perceived Iyanla's stepping to her, with lawyers and asking for more concrete assurance (cause they were already in loose negotiations) that she's be given her own show- because "someone important" a.k.a. shady ass Barbara Walters, counter offered as ungrateful. So O and her right hand white girl (cause there's always an assistant that's more offended than the leader) were like, Word? Well, actually Iyanla you can go 'head with that.

You know, kinda like when you tell the dude you KNOW wanna be with that you're thinking about kicking it with the random next dude just to get a reaction... and instead of telling you not to or that he'll be pissed if you do, he wishes you good luck?



But when I tell you Mama O didn't have NOTHING on Anderson Cooper's interview/ public thrashing of dick head journalist Nir Rosen who tweeted "Lara Logan had to outdo Anderson," about the CNN correspondent, who was reportedly sexually assaulted AND punched in the head multiple times while covering the recent celebrations in Egypt. And then homeboy ignorantly followed that comment up with, "Yes yes it's wrong what happened to her. Of course. I don't support that. But it would have been funny if it happened to Anderson too."


Anderson lit homeboy's arse and alibi on FIRE. Every time dude tried to explain and apologize, Anderson just went deeper and deeper and DEEPER. Shoot, I promise you, after it was over dude had a serious case of diarrhea.

Oh well. Cause Anderson Cooper might be a certified media whore but bump no one deserves to have a sexual assault or ass whooping made marginalized.

a Black History month gift from G.Payton...

YOOOOOOOO! What in the wide-nostril-cross-dressing- hell is this??

Like forreal, is this clown really on YouTube rhapsodizing about his damn wig $5 wig?

Talking 'bout, "Dis is 'Still I Rise' hair; the hope & dream of the slave. Dis is for the colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf- but if them girls was laid, they wouldn't have been considering suicide."


You know what, no. Just no. I don't care what I see or hear, the devil is a liar.

*logs off of life & goes to glory*

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

i'm bored...

So Chris Brown has a new video out. Think I'm going to have to watch it a couple more times before I make a decision on how I feel about this song.

However, there is one thing that I'm decidedly against. All those freaking tattoos covering his arms and chest.


Now, don't get me wrong- I'm not 100% anti-tattoo. One or two creative designs in a strategic location (preferably one that can be covered as necessary) can be extremely sexy- especially on a man with a fit physique. Mmm-hmm...

But when a grown man starts looking like a member of a traveling circus of freaks & oddities, a recent parolee or worse his body starts to get a little flabby and the designs stretch out?


And the more common tattoos become the less interesting they are to look at. Like how many times can I be impressed by a pair of hands praying, a dragon crawling out your abs, angel wings on your back, your zodiac sign or Japanese symbols of strength (at least that's what the artist on 125th Street told you it was) across your knuckles??

Err-um, shock value= zero.

In all fairness, I understand Chris has been through a lot these past couple of years. And watching Rih Rih screech her way to Grammy Award probably doesn't help. But how much more of said internal struggle does he need to advertise on his pectorals? Like, why not get a better therapist or wait on it- an anonymous twitter account? Just no more of the tats.

Please and thanks.

Monday, February 14, 2011

when mama tina takes the night off...

So about last night's Grammys....


I mean, honestly from that horrific Aretha tribute to Lady Gaga popping out an egg just to sing over Madonna's 'Express Yourself' all the way to Rih Rih's off-key, wannabe dance hall moment and Dr. Dre's old school mom jeans. Le Sigh. Yeah, I think I pretty much said it all in my chocolate bar fueled Twitter feed rant. In case you missed it, go HERE.

But lemme ask you this... What's was going on with Beyonce?

When the camera panned on her for the first time sitting next to her BFF Gwyneth Paltrow, I did a damn double take. WTH?? Is she morphing into a white woman right in front of our very eyes?

Granted, I know this is homegirl's "winter" complexion but still- what's really good with the extra strawberry blonde weave and bare face look she was giving? As if she just decided to stop by the awards show on her way back to the hotel from running an errand at Target? I mean, less is more but none is ridiculous.


Oh and I'm not even going to discuss the drab, black, bedazzled waist-length tuxedo jacket over a pair of high-waisted, sequined booty shorts....

No bueno.

Friday, February 11, 2011

feel better than you look...

Normally, I don't really get into the Fashion Week madness here in the city. Although I love fabulous clothes and the drama as much as the next person, the idea of sitting around gawking at emaciated human hangers prancing up and down a runway does absolutely nothing for me. At all.

Let's just say, I'm more for the open bar/ free food afterparties. *shrug*

But this year, thanks to the kind folks at Diet Coke I actually had the pleasure of attending the Heart Truth Red Collection Runway Show. Held annually, it features some of our favorite actresses and celebrities wearing red dresses from different designers to raise awareness of heart disease amongst women and inspire us to take action to lower our level of risk.

And I have to tell you, I was impressed.

Not only was the pre-show panel extremely informative. Did you know heart disease kills more women than all forms of cancer COMBINED? But the stars turned out for the event- I had no idea Matthew McCougney could clean up so well. And the boys- from America's Next top Model- Miss J, Jay and Nigel were doing the absolute MOST on the front row. And the actual celeb models were very impressive:

NBC's Ann Curry was super cute, Camila Alves (Matt's baby mama) has a body to D-I-E for, Dita Von Teese is the sexiest white woman on the planet, Laila Ali & her baby bump were jamming, few make divorce look better than Garcelle Beauvais, the size of Suzanne somers breasts was epic and nobody, I mean nobody could outdo Miss Patti prancing down the walk singing her own damn song.

Unfortunately, I spent too much time laughing and clapping at the catwalk antics to get any good pictures.

My bad, next year.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I'm getting old...

Um so yeah, for the record this hoodie-footie pajama gives me LIFE. L-I-F-E.


Yeah, I said it.

I mean I know that Valentine's Day is around the corner and what not so we should all get our lingerie game up- even if you'll just be wearing it for yourself- but as cold as it is? Man listen...

*zips all the way up*

Till the spring, mama is gonna need a real good reason.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

so not the desired effect...

MMM-kay. So about this new commercial for Khloe & Lamar's new unisex perfume??

Why does watching it make my skin crawl?

There's something so NOT sexy and honestly, kinda scheevy about the way her equally long and wide limbs wrap themselves around this man. And not for nothing, why does he sound more soft spoken than her? Like she's trying to whisper but that just his tone- naturally. And then watching her kiss him. Nope. Too much.

*shudders uncontrollably*

I don't know, maybe it's just too early in the morning for me to be thinking this kinda nonsense. But between you and me, the entire commercial looks like it stinks.

Monday, February 7, 2011

in case you were wondering...

These two were my absolute favorite Super Bowl commercials. Love the beaver's subtle sign of solidarity. Hee Hee

bullies in blue...

I was searching the internet for one of the commercials that aired during the Super Bowl Last night- you know, the one that ends with the black woman throwing something at her boyfriend but it actually hits the white girl in the head. And when blondie falls out, the two of them run off together? OMG, that commercial was so funny, I woke up with a smile on my face. Unfortunatley, came across this video instead.

Um, yeah. Let's just say I'm not laughing anymore.

Not for nothing, this 'ish is crazy. Not only did they hit the kid with a patrol car but they beat fire out of him. For ATTEMPTED robbery? WOW.

I mean, not saying the lil' dude is in the right. Criminal activity is criminal activity. But not for nothing, this is the kinda ass whooping somebody should've given Bernie Madoff or how about the white kid that shot up all those folks in Arizona??


I'm just saying.

Friday, February 4, 2011

they call it progress...

Woke up extra early this morning so that I could get a jump on the Friday. Trying to get out to NJ to see my girl and her 2-month old bundle of joy (and baby poop). Now, normally the only thing I hear on the radio morning shows is Nikki Minaj and Tre Songz, but to my great surprise, Power 105 was having an old school moment with MOP's single, "Ante Up."

Wow. Remember MOP? Or any of the rest of the knuckleheads that were hot back in the day when hip hop did more than trick off in strip clubs and sit around imagining that airplanes were shooting stars for that matter? And if so, can you even imagine an emo rapper like Drake trying to come out during that time? Or worse, a freakin' corrections officer like Rick Ross flossin' like he was one of the biggest drug dealers of modern times?


Yeah, me neither. Le sigh.

*pours out a lil brown licca*

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

this is not what Jesus would do...

As if this weather isn't bad enough, now we've got nuns in Brooklyn falsely accusing Black men of rape.

*sucks the back of my teeth CLEAN*

Apparently, Sister Mary Turcotte, who just so happens to be white, filed a false police report claiming she was attacked on the street last Thursday by a 6-foot-4, 250-pound black man.

The 26 year-old liar told detectives the assailant choked her, dragged her through the streets and left her unconscious in a snowbank with her underwear down and her breasts exposed. Mm-hmm, she was real detailed.

It was only after the manhunt kicked off, that the religious fraud caught a bad case of the guilts and admitted that she concocted the entire assault to cover up her sexual shenanigans with a bodega worker.


The bodega worker? As opposed to the bodega OWNER?? READ: The random dude who stocks the diapers on the shelves in the back???

*nosedives in the shallow end of the pool*

You know what... all that using your hidden sexual fantasies of being dragged through the streets and left in a snowbank to get it in with homie from the bodega is doing way too much. For her sake, I hope Gold helps her figure out whats really going on in that screwed up mind, while her ass sits in a jail cell for a couple of years.

Scandalous trick.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

ball till you fall- literally...


Last week Wednesday, THIRTEEN University of Iowa football players were hospitalized after a saturation workout that included doing a 100 squats and pulling one of those weighted sleds a 100 yards. All 13 kids (cause that's what you are in college) were diagnosed with rhabdomyolysis, “a stress-induced syndrome that can damage cells and cause kidney damage and even failure in severe cases.” Which probably means that even with severe muscle soreness and discolored urine the boys did more workouts until they straight fell out.


Kidney damage and failure??? Uh, uh. This foolishness is not okay. Not for nothing, every year about 10 football players die during workouts. Can you imagine if that was your child, relative or friend?

Ironically, at this very moment my girl Tomia is organizing a 5 K Run/ Walk on behalf of Devard Darling's As One Foundation to commemorate the 10th Anniversary of the death of his twin Devaughn. Dude was a FSU football player that died during a workout from the same exact 'ish. Crazy.

You can check that out HERE.

But even more importantly, tell somebody.

sticks, stones and a crackho...

Ok, while you're playing, this Mayoral race in Chicago is DEAD SERIOUS.


Shout out to my girl Leah, for putting me up on this news report from a recent candidate debate where former Senator Carol Moseley Braun goes all the way, and I do mean, ALLA WAY IN on a fellow candidate Patricia Van Pelt Watkins.

See, now if folks started telling the truth like this is NYC, Bloomberg's shady ass wouldn't even be in office right now. Real talk.


Lord forgive me but I cannot wait until Rahm Emmanuel has his turn at the mic.

*grabs the bowl of popcorn and pulls up a chair*